sisse-salts

By Ari Ann Hedskin, for South DaCola

In an amazing change of heart, the Sisseton School Board has decided to change the name of their mascot.

“Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things that are red that are cool, International and Massey-Ferguson tractors, Ferrari’s, Santa’s suit, but hey, it was time for a change,” says school board president Igor Nant.

While the controversy surrounded the derogatory name towards native Americans (Redmen), Igor says it had nothing to do with that.

“Hey, we were just tired of not seeing any Redmen (or Ferrari’s) around town, so what was the point? Not to mention, our town is famous throughout South Dakota for our homemade saltines!”

Yes, the ‘Sisseton Saltines’ may not have that ‘fighting’ mascot sound, but they sure are tasty with the corner bar’s famous goat/grouse chili.

“We may be called a cracker, but we are salty in our fight,” exclaims Igor (giggling and flagellating at the same time).

When area Lakota students were asked about the name change they said,

“Everyone knows an indian taco on pita bread beats podunk chili and crackers (unless Stephanie-Herseth-Sandlin-Raven is serving them).”

Either way, each party can now move on happily with full (and gassy) stomachs.

4 Thoughts on “The Sisseton Redmen change mascot name

  1. Anyone who doesn’t live in that community needs to keep their nose out of this issue. This is way way different than an NFL team.

  2. True, but c’mon ‘The Redmen’?

  3. I’m not trying to make light of a touchy issue, BUT, somethings are a truth. So I have native american friends and They don’t get what the issue with the redmen is. They say- we’re red, you’re white and some are black, so what. They’re not so good with the redSKIN name as skinning scalping and all that. It’s not uncommon for native americans to define themselves as the red nation.

    Ultimately it’s up to them to decide. If I were king- I would say only the native americans get to decide/vote if this is a tradition they find offensive.

    If the dumbass owner of the Redskins were to ask to change the name of the team to The Brave but keep the mascot, that BS would all be over.

    These are just the observations of a fat white guy who should not get a say in this matter.

    BTW… I feel the same way about abortion. Let only women decide and then let’s get over it. I despise the thought of abortions, but I don’t think I should get a vote.

  4. Bob Kneebone on January 30, 2017 at 6:58 pm said:

    I was schooled for 9 years in Sisseton Public and High Schools, then my parents were transferred to Nebraska before I could start my Senior year. I am listed in some websites as “Class of 1957”. I knew everyone in that class. I am commenting to say: if there really are Sisseton Saltines, then please send me a small box of them. Are there any Snarfs left there? Bob N6AZV

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