Sioux Falls changing name to Stanferd International Falls

Well, we should have seen this coming. For years people have suspected we would change our name to Stanferd Falls because of all the dirty money Zillionaire B. Danny Stanferd has given to the city.

CEO of Stanferd Health Systems, Kelsey Krabbypants, said, “We really never liked the ‘feel’ of Stanferd Falls, but with the Stanferd International Golf tournament in Sioux Falls for the next 5 years and the cool sounding name of International Falls, MN, we thought Stanferd International Falls had a nice ring to it.”

Some are wondering how this name change got thru the mayor’s office and city council without any public hearings. Krabbypants remarked, “Oh, the city council? Uh, they really don’t have any power and with all the kooks that come to public input at the meeting we decided to go straight to the top. Since we found it so easy to pay off virtually all of our local media, throwing some money at the Mayor was a snap. Besides, not sure if he even knew about the executive order since his COS staff signed it, like most of his executive orders.”

We also asked Kelsey how we would pay for the signage changes since the cost could be in the millions. “That’s simple, we will just have to do a bunch of unnecessary tests on medicare patients over the next few years to cover it.”

Welcome to Stanferd International Falls!



5 comments ↓

#1 sheepherder on 09.23.18 at 5:45 pm

Sucky!!!

#2 scott on 09.23.18 at 8:37 pm

it’s nauseating how the media gets a boner for all things sanford.

#3 JKC on 09.23.18 at 8:53 pm

Better known as “SIF,” or a device which with the help of gravity takes from one and gives to an other…. But I’ll leave it to your imagination, however, as to who is “one” and who is the “other.”

Plus, is there ever a chance that our new airport could then be renamed the ‘Stanferd International Falls Domestic Airport,’ too?

#4 JKC on 09.23.18 at 10:04 pm

The media has a crush.

#5 Kelby on 09.24.18 at 8:59 am

I just want all to know I’m still proud of my name even though in the mid-east Kelby means bitch or female dog or as in I’m your bitch.

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