Entries Tagged 'Cock Rock' ↓

Lame.

 

I wasn’t aware of this, but it seems you can improve a team’s success by changing their mascot to a more menacing animal. In light of this new discovery, the Sioux Falls Canaries will now be called the Sioux Falls Fighting Pheasants. Take THAT Wichita Wingnuts! Your days of intimidating the lowly Canaries with whimsical alliteration are over!

Granted, the new name does better reflect the local (imported) wildlife. But other than different uniforms and letterhead, what’s the difference? Will the games be any more fun to watch – especially from the right-field party zone – now that we have a new mascot? Doubtful. Will the league expand to more than five or six teams so there’s a little variety to the opponents? Not likely. Will the team break into the real MLB farm team system so we can see future all-stars instead of the odd has-been? That would be nice. In fact, all the changes mentioned above would be great, and a real improvement to our local sports scene. But all of them are difficult. Changing a name is easy. I wonder which changes local baseball fans would prefer.

I know what I’m going to do in honor of the new name. Tonight, I will take the last two pheasants out of my chest freezer, thaw them, cover them in bacon, stuff them with garlic, onions, and peppers, and roast them at about 300 degrees in a pan with about an inch of beer in the bottom until delicious.

Now there’s something I can cheer for.

Pakistani ambassador given the shaft by Saudis

Apparently, the name of the new Pakistani ambassador has rubbed the Saudis the wrong way. The ambassador’s name, Akbar Zeb, in arabic means “Biggest Dick”.  Similar attempts to penetrate the diplomatic corps of the UAE and Bahrain were also cockblocked.

While the Pakistanis had a huge swell of confidence that their man would be able to erect new bridges with their middle-eastern friends, it turns out that a major case of penis envy has given diplomacy the blue balls, and the Pakistani government a throbbing headache.

I, for one, am proud to live in a country where men whose name is also a euphamism for the male genitalia can be elected to high office and serve as members of our diplomatic corps anywhere in the world. All they need is a stiff adherence to our American principles and the peoples’ mushroom stamp of approval.

Brett Micheals to headline Dakota Rockfest in 2009

http://www.dakotarockfest.com/

 

 

http://www.argusleader.com/article/20090203/UPDATES/90203078

 

I’d go if Rock of Love III’s Taya Parker was dancing naked on stage. Boinnggg!