Entries Tagged 'Dumbass' ↓

Hick Stickers! Git Yer Hick Stickers! (H/T – GP)

Yup, that is a cowboy and a horse kneeling at a cross, and the other sticker that says, ‘We don’t call 911!’

But we do have Cabelas’s on speed dial when we need more ammo.

Eight-year-olds, dude.

8-years-old-dude

 

Thanks be to the TSA for keeping their eyes on a budding terrorist.

Ever since he was two years old, Mikey Hicks has been getting extra attention from the TSA when he flies.

He was recently frisked aggressively when his family flew to the Bahamas for vacation on Jan 2, just days after the so-called “underwear bomber” attempted to ignite explosives on a flight from Amsterdam to Michigan.

“Up your arms, down your arms, up your crotch — someone is patting your 8-year-old down like he’s a criminal,” Mikey’s mother told the newspaper. “A terrorist can blow his underwear up and they don’t catch him. But my 8-year-old can’t walk through security without being frisked.”

With a unique name like Michael Hicks, it’s a pretty safe bet that the TSA has the right guy. In fact, there are only 1,600 other people named Michael Hicks in this country – including young Mikey’s father, according to a national directory. Pretty cut and dried if you ask me.
I don’t know about you, but I’m sure glad we have psychics working for our government who are able to see into the future and know this kid will grow up to be the next Bin Laden. It just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling all over. Kind of like a good pat-down.

Worst campaign website ever

batpoop

 

batpoop

With a big side of xenophobia.

The words batshit crazy barely begin to describe MN Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann. However, a competitor for the title of looniest loon in Minnesota has emerged to take on US Representative Keith Ellison.

Lynne Torgerson is running for US Rep. in district 5.To spread the word, she has created a website with her platform and views for all the world to see. Among these views is a healthy dose of ranting against Muslims in general, and Keith Ellison in particular.

Now, with all due respect, America, and its people,  should be lauded for its goal of promoting to public office and other high ranks, people of color,  women, minorities, etc.  However, quite frankly, in our zeal, we simply went too far with Keith Ellison.  Keith Ellison simply is not a proper person to have in our federal government.  I think it is interesting that Keith Ellison, in the past year or so, introduced a bill entitled “Global Peace.”  “Global.”  I think that word is telling.  Globalization of Islam.  It is also my understanding that when people of the Muslim faith use the word peace, that “peace” to them means the elimination of Christians and Jews.

Good stuff, right? Try reading it without hearing it in a monotone, 4th-grader-reading-in-front-of-his-class voice. It simply can’t be done. The entire website is written at a 4th grade level, with almost no compound sentences and very simple words. If this woman somehow passed the MN state bar exam, it must have been read to her and her answers dictated.

Is there something in the water in MN? Maybe a little too much lye left in the lutefisk?

Best letter to the editor EVER!!!

This letter is from last week. If you missed it, you missed the best letter I’ve ever seen in the Argus Leader. Lucky for all us blogger types, we be safe.

Holy holy holy!

YouTube Preview ImageI have no words. Just watch and throw up a little.

Call a Whaaaabulance, Tim.

Tim Kant is at it again, crying because people are picking on him. The below flyer is posted on his tables outdoors. Normally I would defend a bar owner. But Mr. Kant has a reputation for skirting the rules. He consistently plays music past the time allowed on the weekends and has been known to sell drinks in plastic cups so people can carry (which you need a special permit for.) I guess if Tim was following the rules I would defend him, especially against the city and the money front they call DTSF.

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Anti-babe of the week: Sally Kern

sallykernauntie

Sadly, it’s not rare that a right-wing loony from my home state makes the news.  However, this one has, in addition to taking the cake by saying gays are a bigger threat to America than terrorism, has now officially left reality for some other bizzaro plane of existence.

In her most recent act of outright stupidity, Kern has issued a proclamation for morality, which you can read here. She has also publicly blamed gays and illegitimate children for the current economic mess. It seems fundamentalist nut-jobs like her have moved on from witches, gypsies, and jews to gays, pornographers, and abortionists, whom it’s still OK to hate. I’m not sure what’s sadder, that people like her exist or that they get elected to public office – in a large city no less.

I’d pay good money to see her in a debate with an actual thinking person. Theocrats cannot win such debates, and ultimately must rely on the righteous stupidity and willful ignorance of their supporters to suppress their opposition. For a case study, look at the recent Iranian elections. Theocracy is dying. Hallelujah!

The bright side in all of this is that 90% of the people commenting on the story think Kern is a complete tool with no business in government.

South DaCola fan email

What a liberal DUMB ASS you prove to be on your blogs everyday!!!   If Bush did not do the things to protect us when he did, we would not be here rite now!!

Bitch ALL you want about Bush. There comes a time when you have to start putting the blame on YOUR BOY in the “White House”.  What a joke he is already!!!

WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David D.

Thanks for the feedback David. I’ll get your free t-shirt in the mail today