Entries Tagged 'farts' ↓

This letter is from last week. If you missed it, you missed the best letter I’ve ever seen in the Argus Leader. Lucky for all us blogger types, we be safe.

King Douchenozzle von Krunk

Looks like Glenn Beck dodged another bullet today.

Unfortunately, the victim of this fatal car accident was not him.

(CNN) — The case of a giant Mylar balloon, which ascended into the sky late last week amid fears a 6-year-old boy was aboard, has been determined to be a “hoax” and a “publicity stunt,” Larimer County, Colorado, Sheriff Jim Alderden said Sunday.

In what could be one of the saddest acquisitions ever in the history of business, Disney has bought Marvel for $4billion.

Between Disney’s Standards and Practices department, and their marketing team, the whole of the Marvel portfolio will now be turned into another Miley-esque fad for ‘tweens’ that will burn out and die in a few years.

You can say goodbye to anything even your mom would say is edgy or dark in comic books and the movies about them.

This is truly a sad day for nerds everywhere.

The possibilities are endless, and horrifying:

I’m sick and tired of looking at this image.

Add Rush and Anne, and you would of had the Axis of Evil – or stupidity – I’m not sure.

. . . or they call you this.

If only Sioux Falls were on the Highway to Hell - we would stop leaking money

This week, once again, Quen Be De Knudson could not resist getting another plug in for a new Event Center (so she won’t have to fill her car with gas, in Sioux Falls, and drive to Sioux City to see Neil Diamond and buy Cokes at the Tyson Center). Only De would be so shameless to encourage a retail tax increase to build something we don’t need during a recession. Her argument this time? The Arena is ‘dilapidated’. It all started by her giving kudos to the Sioux Falls Sports Authority for getting the Summit League tournament in March to be held in Sioux Falls at the Arena. What started as praise quickly turned into a rant about how surprised she was they were able to convince the league to have the tourney here because the Arena is so ‘dilapidated’. I think if she wants to see dilapidation, she ought a go out with the code enforcement officers sometime.

Sure, the Arena is a little old and worn, but there is nothing wrong with it, considering it has only sold out about 3 events in the past 40 years (and seven Garth Brooks concerts). Did Knudson ever think maybe they chose Sioux Falls because it is a nice city to visit? Or that the Arena may be the perfect size for the tournament? Stop worrying about what the f’ing Jones’ have and get down to real business for once.

GRANICUS – SMANICUS!

Not sure if you ever watch the informational meetings online but they use a software called Granicus. For the longest time I noticed that they turn the microphones on and start recording about 10 minutes before the informational meetings actually start. I started to notice that most of the councilors showing up to the meetings were not aware of it, and I would turn up the volume full blast and listen to the chatter. Most of the time I wouldn’t hear much, but a few weeks back one of the councilors made the comment about Jamison walking in and tearing up his AC/DC ticket. It made me chuckle, because a week earlier was Jamison’s Oscar winning performance where he talked about Sioux Falls leaking money because we don’t have an Event Center while tearing up fake checks from AC/DC and The Eagles.

After that, I decided in all fairness, I would email the city clerk and tell her about it, kind of a fair warning that anybody listening can hear the chatter. It has only gotten better as a result. This past week the assistant city clerk made a point to inform everyone their microphones were on, and joked that people can tell what they are thinking to, and councilor Litz replies, “If they knew what I was thinking, I would be in jail.” I’m with you on that Bob! So keep up the comedy show. I think the 10 minutes prior to the meetings is more exciting than the open discussion during the meeting, except when Shakespeare Jamison and Quen Be De put on there best rendition of Arthur Miller’s greatest unknown work, “Death of an Event Center.”

The Corndog Pizza

Why you are fat