Maybe local restaurants can survive Covid by providing good service?

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The Condiment Vending Machine. Patent Pending.

Trust me, I noticed before Covid that eating out in Sioux Falls was a crap shoot. Sometimes you get good service, poor food or poor service and good food or poor service and poor food or great service and great food. It’s always a mystery. As a person who worked in restaurants for over 20 years it is frustrating, but I also understand we all have bad days. I have often told people I was top of my game maybe 75% of the time, and when I was like that, you were lucky to have me as a server. The other 25% of the time, I feel sorry for you, because when I sucked, I really sucked (I was also mean to blue hairs, Hoots and people who prayed before they ate, commonly known as the people WHO DON’T TIP).

I have only ate indoors a handful of times since Covid hit and it wasn’t until after I recovered from my own bout with it that I decided to eat indoors. It has always been by myself and I try to sit away from folks. Trust me, I get it that it is probably not fun wearing a mask during a whole shift to wait on people, but it is your job. I have also noticed that service has gotten even worse since Covid. I think it has a little to do with less experienced younger servers who are not afraid of getting Covid working mostly during the pandemic, while the older experienced ones have decided to sit it out. There is also a whole different level of rudeness and flat out lying from servers that I have never really seen before. You know, you don’t have to lie to me, just grab your manager, which also lie to you to. Yah can’t win.

Last night I was baffled by the policies of a certain DTSF restaurant that is a small Midwest franchise. It is a popular place and the food is good for a franchise. I have ate there several times and have never had a bad plate. The service last year before Covid was always really good and the food has never been bad, until the service I received last night.

I sat at the bar to just simply have a quick burger and beer before going somewhere. While the service was ‘acceptable’ you would think I wouldn’t have to ASK every time I needed something. There were literally 4 of us sitting at the bar and 2 were together.

Service aside what was annoying is they have that stupid line on the ticket that asks for you to donate to a charity that they will give to in THEIR name. They have also added a line that asks if you will ’round up’ for the charity (another annoying trick retail is pulling during this pandemic). I always write ‘DUMB’ on that line and write to give their own money since this takes tips away from the servers. But what really surprised me was the $.50 charge for a side of mayo that I asked for, you know, a common condiment that should be included with a cheeseburger anyway. It’s not like I was asking for garlic truffle oil aoli or guacamole, just a side of Miracle Whip.

I will say that $.50 charge probably lost you a customer.

It’s the little things!

What’s next a bubblegum machine with condiments in it that you have to pay for to dispense? Maybe a dishwashing charge if you don’t opt for wax paper and plastic forks?

While we have certainly heard the bitching and complaining about the loss of business in the local hospitality industry during Covid, maybe it’s NOT Covid, maybe it’s your p!ss poor customer service where you beg your customers to give to a charity that you take credit for while charging me for a swab of liquified egg whites. Heck, even Wendy’s and BK don’t charge for mayo on a burger!

While some say they miss eating out due to the pandemic, let me fill you in, you ain’t missing much.

So the next time you hear about a restaurant that has gone under, maybe it wasn’t Covid, maybe it had to do with a mayo famine.

Censored DTSF Burger Battle Burger

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I was disappointed to hear that this burger name was censored by DTSF;

Where did this deliciousness get its name from…. The original name was The Krusti Noem Burger. Sadly, DTSF (Downtown Sioux Falls) does not support our freedom of speech and they were not going to allow us to be part of Burger Battle 2020 if we didn’t change the name. Not wanting any of you to be deprived of this mouthwatering burger we played nice and appropriately renamed it The Censored Burger [flyer posted by LoShi NayKali, Facebook, 2020.01.09].

I guess I would have been more clever and called it the Krusty Gnome, either way, it got me thinking about other burgers that could possibly be censored by DTSF (Please feel free to add to the list in the comments area)

10Haken Selfie Burger – So handsome and beautiful you’ll want to take your picture with it.

The Mini-Ha-Ha Commissioner – This burger is only available at 9 AM on a Tuesday.

The McGoWOWan – marinated in whiskey, light beer and fantastic after a long drunken bike ride.

The Theresa – open face bun, almost transparent patty and made with bull meat. Tough and hard to swallow.

The ManSplainZert – You are required to eat with a fork and knife so you don’t get your hands all dirty and germy. It also comes with a 4-page document from the creator explaining the burger.

The Downtowner – We are not sure what is on this burger since all of the ingredients have been censored.

The Dorfer – You can’t actually physically eat this burger, you can only view a picture of it using a phone app, but it does come with a FREE bus pass to the casino (and a drink coupon).

The Ravonsburger – The only ingredients listed are ‘Unconstitutional’.

The Stace – This burger is made with gun powder and angrily pounded patties.

The Mike Saburger – made with Egyptian beef and South Dakota soybeans.

The RS5 Burger – A patty the shape of the word ‘YES’ and pounded in darkness with a giant rubber stamp.

The Mickeyson – made with CAFO beef and only available at the SFSD cafeteria. It also comes with a yard sign, but you probably cannot afford it.

The Saudi Super Stack – Created by the SD GOP chair and made with Iowa kosher beef. You must also put down a retainer before they will cook it and only pay for it with cash.

The Powerful Pitty Patty – claims to be the best burger in the state, but kind of mysteriously tastes like fried cod.

The Ironic Johnny Thunburg – tastes like nothing and has NO dietary benefits, but the POTUS gives it a B+.

The Dusty Diner – This is the perfect burger to snack on if you are just sitting around all afternoon in a small town cafe shooting the breeze with retired farmers and bitching about Mexicans.

The Roundsburg – Made with processed beef from an EB-5 financed packing plant. Wait, didn’t they all close? It also comes with a demonstration from Lora Hubbel on how to shoot a shotgun using a 3 foot branch.

The Maherburger – You’ll have to quit eating it before your finished, it also costs $300 million dollars.

The Siouxie Steele – this burger comes with a rebate to be paid back to you over the next 20 years.

The McLoyd – this burger is paid for by a generous donation from the city of Sioux Falls.

The Denty  – only available at the Events Center. It comes with a lopsided bun and a crooked patty that is forced down your throat by your server. This one also promises a rebate but you have to go to the SD Supreme Court to get it. It will probably win the burger battle, but only on an ‘advisory’ vote.

The Village River Bunker Stack – the most expensive and ugliest burger on the menu, but it’s NOT available currently due to pending litigation on it’s ingredients.

The Copper Burger – this one falls over on your plate before you can eat it and comes with a free LLC registration coupon.

The Big Pioux – marinated in the water of the Big Sioux River taken right below the packing plant. As a friend stated to me. ‘I never thought E-Coli could taste so good?’ Expect a porky, pesticide ammonia after taste to last for days.

The Levitt Liscious – the only totally FREE burger, but you have to buy a drink.

The Jazzy Festival – This burger will be discontinued next year.

The Arguliscious – only available online, occasionally, expensive and not very filling.

The Stormland Telly Burger – only good on a rainy day

The KSFDLTY Burger – includes ingredients from all the food trucks in Sioux Falls and some of Shawn Cable’s hair gel.

The Brady Malliscious Pompaburger – Absolutely Fabulous Bitches!

The All of a Suddon Billie Burger – Just a half of ounce shy of a full pound of beef, but very Christian.

The DaCola – bitter and full of sh*t.

The My Man Mayor Bowlcut and Bucktooth burger – full of more sh*t than my burger, but so incredibly polished you can see your reflection in the patty.

Let’s do it!

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Okay, this is just in jest. But I pitched this idea to some of my friends. We have bacon, beer, BBQ and chislic festivals, why not CABBAGE?! I consider myself a cabbage lover, as someone of German, Irish, French, Russian, Swiss and Czech decent, cabbage runs through my blood. And it is delicious. I have even joked that SD Chamber President, David Owens should be the honorary chair (he hates cabbage).

Just think of all the different dishes you could serve! Coleslaw, and lots of it! Soups, pigs in a blanket, the list goes on and on! Let’s do it!

Popular Political Blog changing name to ‘DakotaFoodCollege’

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Well, we should have seen the writing on the wall, or at least the food splooge on his keyboard

After years of regurgitating press releases from the right-wing whack jobs that run our state, he must have finally gotten tired of the acid reflux it was causing, and decided to go after the real deal. Of course Pitty has been dropping hints, like his yearly fart-fest he takes to DC where he tries to find this weird dish called ‘fish & chips’. I guess he forgets we celebrate Lent in South Dakota also.

I think the biggest clue came when he posted this table of high sodium, high fructose, corn syrup and bowls full of bacon grease.

I’m glad to see Pitty is going after his real passion while staying true to his blogging style – Sh*t in, Sh*t out.

Food Fight!

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They should serve more crow at public meetings.

Believe it or not, I actually find my reader’s comments and opinions endearing, sometimes. I may not always agree, but I have learned some things.

So I’m going to ask your opinion about a ‘scenario’ situation.

First, I will preference that some of the incidents I will be referring to did not happen to me, and it is a combination of comments I have heard from citizens attending public events where food is served.

I will say personally though I have attended several public events like neighborhood meetings, ribbon cuttings, etc, where free food is served to the public. Normally it is cookies and coffee. But at the ribbon cutting for the Administration building there were catered sandwiches and chips. Also, when I used to attend the early events center meetings, the public was welcome to pizza or sandwiches after the committee ate.

That being said, here is my question;

If you attended a public meeting, to observe elected officials, and you were sitting at the same table as them and a server put a meal in front of you (that you did not order) would you 1) eat it? and if so 2) would you ask if you need to pay?

Let’s switch it up a bit, what if you ate it, and no one gave you a check. Would you just assume it was paid for? As I mentioned above, the city gives out free food all the time at other public events. Would this seem any different since it was a sit down meal?

Also, what if NO ONE asked you if you wanted the meal and gave it to you anyway?

Here are my initial thoughts, as a person who worked as a server for over 15 years, if this would have happened to me, the first thing I would have said was, “I didn’t order this, and who is paying for it?”

But people who I asked about this who don’t work in the industry told me they would kind of make the assumption it was on the house.

I know how these things work with a large party, the servers try to drop as many meals on that table as possible, the more meals they ‘sell’ the bigger the gratuity (usually added into the overall price). No surprise a server would put a meal in front of everyone at the table. Also, in the restaurant’s defense, their servers have no idea who is an elected official, a regular citizen or a public employee, especially in an informal setting. And lastly, if you were having a public meeting where food is being served, why would you pick one of the most expensive restaurants in town?

That being said, I’m kind of on the fence. While I wouldn’t expect the city to pick up the tab (even though I have probably paid for it 100x over in taxes) Why should the public pick up the tab for the elected officials or the public employees? If this is a public meeting, and free food has been served at these meetings in the past, wouldn’t it be safe to assume if you didn’t order something and no one asked you to pay at the end, it was free?

Of course, Benny Hill said it best, “Don’t Assume, because you only make an . . . .

And what if a public official attending the meeting ASKED you to pay for it later? Would you?

Food for thought . . .