Entries Tagged 'homeland security' ↓

Eight-year-olds, dude.

8-years-old-dude

 

Thanks be to the TSA for keeping their eyes on a budding terrorist.

Ever since he was two years old, Mikey Hicks has been getting extra attention from the TSA when he flies.

He was recently frisked aggressively when his family flew to the Bahamas for vacation on Jan 2, just days after the so-called “underwear bomber” attempted to ignite explosives on a flight from Amsterdam to Michigan.

“Up your arms, down your arms, up your crotch — someone is patting your 8-year-old down like he’s a criminal,” Mikey’s mother told the newspaper. “A terrorist can blow his underwear up and they don’t catch him. But my 8-year-old can’t walk through security without being frisked.”

With a unique name like Michael Hicks, it’s a pretty safe bet that the TSA has the right guy. In fact, there are only 1,600 other people named Michael Hicks in this country – including young Mikey’s father, according to a national directory. Pretty cut and dried if you ask me.
I don’t know about you, but I’m sure glad we have psychics working for our government who are able to see into the future and know this kid will grow up to be the next Bin Laden. It just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling all over. Kind of like a good pat-down.

Who put a quarter in Joe?

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Homeland Security needs a little ‘Irony’ cleaning

Cleaning Firm Used Illegal Workers at Chertoff Home

Every few weeks for nearly four years, the Secret Service screened the IDs of employees for a Maryland cleaning company before they entered the house of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, the nation’s top immigration official.

The company’s owner says the workers sailed through the checks — although some of them turned out to be illegal immigrants.
“Your’e doing a Heckuva a job, Mikey!”