As you may already know, several large investment banks have recently gone tits up. Thousands of investment bankers will soon be in line for a table at Applebee’s, forgoing their usual reservation at Spago. An estimated 100,000* executives from the nation’s largest companies may soon be jumping from a window near you!
Do your part!
Please make donations to the Lehman Bros. charity fund, a non-profit group dedicated to assisting suicidal and soon-to-be-broke mid-level executives. Your donation will help to prop up the threatened lifestyles of investment bankers across the NYC tri-state area.
Please hurry!
Many executives have already had to sell their properties in the Hamptons, and many more are thinking about selling their yaghts. If this crisis lasts as long as expected, many investment bankers will be forced to summer and winter in the same home!
Please make your donation via Paypal today!**
*All figures derived ex rectumÂ
**Please send payments to Ghost of Dude at his e-mail address, ghostofdude@yourmom.com
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I prefer Olive Garden over Applebees. Which reminds me of a Neil Hamburger joke,
“What did the family of four accidentally leave at a Applebees after eating there? There dignity.”
You would. Corporate loyalist!
I prefer to eat anything I could just as easily (and cheaply) make at home at my own kitchen table. I’ll go out for the stuff other people make better – like pretty much everything at Sanaa’s.
I thought of this yesterday as I was emptying out the company storage unit and taking apart the shelves. SNL should do a “feed the children” spoof where the bearded guy talks about “for only $20k per week, you can save this investment banker” with a sad-looking stuffed suit standing next to him.
That guy looks like Lester Larson
Thought of the Day
“The man most responsible for the financial services and banking deregulation that made today possible, fmr. Sen. Phil Gramm, is the man John McCain wants to put in charge of the whole economy.”
from TPM Media
Phil Gramm is no longer working for McCain.
Not true, there has been some pretty strong evidence he is still advising from the sidelines (he’s just not on the payroll).
Mr. Ghostly Dude: I tried to email you a paypail payment of all my savings (about $6.80 this past year), but the listed email address “bounced back” (using Uncle Rusty’s high-tech computer lingo) – Can I help out in donating to your financial institution, or is it too late to rectumfy this crisis situation?
Sincerely,
EggBert …ZZZ