I know it’s a real reach for me to post something that I think is stupid or that I absolutely hate. Today will be no different. Every year all of you mouth breathing sheep work yourselves into consumerist frenzies for “the big game”. The chips and salsa I buy at Hy-Vee have a team logo on them. The gas I pump into my shitty car is the official fossil fuel of the NFL and I think I’ll puke if I see one more fat asshole wearing a Steelers jersey he picked up at Kohl’s just to wear today to prove that he knows who’s in the game and maybe people will think he’s a hardcore fan.

All professional sports suck. I’m not just pointing my finger at the NFL, although I will say they have a market share of fanatic butt wads that even NASCARâ„¢ is envious of.  Today isn’t really about the football. Deep down somewhere behind all of the marketing and overpriced commercial spots there is a game of strategy and skill. But that isn’t the reason millions of you are tuning in today. Sure, you’ll watch the game and cheer when someone makes a play worth cheering for. If you are with a group of people today, whether its in a bar or sitting at home on your couch, make a mental note to observe the way a room snaps to attention when the first set of commercials come on. We, myself included, have been programmed to consume, and today we’ll worship at our HDTV alters and anoint ourselves with crappy Americanized beer and finger food.  Doritos Sanctos Cheezypoofs.

So drink your Budweiser and eat your hot wings like a good boy, and I’ll pretend I care when it’s all you can talk about tomorrow at work. 



I  mean… BAAAAAAA……..

18 Thoughts on “Superbowl? That’s football.. right?

  1. How would you like to eat chips and salsa off of that?

  2. Ghost of Dude on February 1, 2009 at 9:29 pm said:

    I think there’s some chips and salsa hidden in the folds – and maybe some cottage cheese.

  3. Warren Phear on February 2, 2009 at 5:52 am said:

    Hey Angry Guy. I’ve been a STEELERS fan first and NFL fan second for a lot of years in SF. I guess I just don’t see the side of pro football you’re talking about. Fans as I see it, come in all shapes and sizes, and in case you’ve never noticed it before, SF does in fact have a large STEELER fan base, just like they do everywhere.


  4. Angry Guy – you pulled Warren out of retirement.

  5. Angry Guy on February 2, 2009 at 8:42 am said:

    Hey Warren,
    No offese, but you’re an idiot. I couldn’t give less of a shit about which team you or any of the other sheep cheer for on Sundays. Once again, you’ve missed the point of my post by only applying it to yourself. So what if you declare yourself a Steelers fan first and a complete tool second. In case you’ve never noticed before, Sioux Falls has just as many fat and stupid people cheering for professional sports because that is what the boob toob tells them to do, as any other state in the union. Your Steelers wouldn’t even exist if the NFL wasn’t slinging Pepsi and Bud to the ignorant masses.

  6. Yeah, what was up with that? Obviously the beer companies are still doing okay. I can’t figure out why Beer companies advertise during the Superbowl? Aren’t they preaching to the Choir? It would be like a Bible salesman showing up to a Gideon meeting.

  7. Warren Phear on February 2, 2009 at 9:09 am said:

    Hey AG,

    No offese, (btw, what is an offese AG) but you truly are an Angry Guy. Your handle could not possibly be more appropriate. You must be a real blast around the water cooler on Monday mornings. My guess is your cubicle gets t’p’ed on a regular basis.

    So if being a fan of the NFL makes me a sheep….baaaaaaa, along with a hell of a lot of other otherwise healthy Americans, then so be it. Better to be a fan of the NFL than a whiner like you.

  8. Hey Warren, I was gonna actually be the one to write about how much I detest professional sports, but asked AG if he would have the honors, and he did not disappoint. Though I did watch the Superbowl, I will admit the only good part was in the last 3 minutes. And Springsteen sucked, as usual.

    Doritos Sanctos Cheezypoofs (Classic AG)

  9. Angry Guy on February 2, 2009 at 9:29 am said:

    Damnit! DL, you need a speel checker on this here blog.
    You sure told me, Warren. I’m going to go cry myself to sleep in my cubicle now, while you sit in your big fancy corner office and revel in your victory over me and my pathetic whining. Good one.

  10. Hey- Angry guy, I saw our lost triplet brother this weekend in Sioux City. Hosennffer says, “look, someone shorter than you.” I was going to have my photo taken with him.

  11. Angry Guy on February 2, 2009 at 10:06 am said:

    Whenever I am feeling short and inferior (TY Warren), I go hang out at the Achieve center for a few hours. It does wonders for my self-confidence by making me seem taller and smarter.

  12. Super Average Girl on February 2, 2009 at 10:28 am said:

    That’s hot.

  13. Angry Guy on February 2, 2009 at 10:29 am said:

    If those asshole Steelers hadn’t scored that last TD, I would have walked away with $200 from our office pool.

  14. Warren Phear on February 2, 2009 at 10:30 am said:

    Never sat in a fancy corner office AG. Never will. That’s for dreamers like yourself. And the Achieve thing? Was that supposed to be funny or snarky, or both?

    And I thought Springsteen did OK for an old guy. Kinda disappointed he didn’t do “Born In The USA” tho.

  15. Angry Guy on February 2, 2009 at 11:05 am said:

    Just for you Warren, I’ll preface all of my posts with my intended disposition.
    Read – Dumbfounded
    “Are you seriously asking my how I wanted to come across with my retard comment? I’ll explain it for you, genius. Everything I write is suspect. I don’t have an angry bone in my body and I voted republican in the last 4 presidential elections. Now excuse me while I smoke my cigar and listen to The Boss on my Bose system I have installed in my shitty cubicle.”

  16. Warren Phear on February 2, 2009 at 11:36 am said:

    Just for you Angry Guy, you bein a genius and all. Everything you write is a little bit more than just “suspect”. So stop flattering yourself.

  17. Angry Guy on February 2, 2009 at 11:42 am said:

    You flatter me by wasting 15 seconds of your life, which validates my existence. Really, it’s sweet.

  18. You don’t need to go to SD Achieve to feel better about yourself, AG. Just listen to De Knudson babble at a council meeting, that usually does it for me.

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