Dear other ones:
HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY, or as the family EggBert calls it – HAPPY MOTHER EggBertrude Day!!!
Our family wrote this Ode to Mother EggBertrude the day she mysteriously vanished on Mother’s Day, 1979:
“Oh, Mother EggBertrude, where art thou? Lest we count the ways you vanished, we hope you are having a grand old opery time & haven’t allowed the aliens, Mexicans, or townsfolk, etc. to yet 1) crack your baby-making, egg sack, 2)  manipulate your disco inferno, or most of all, 3) catapult you into a futuristically unrealistic world of Negro U.S. Presidents…”
Today, in 2009, as we continue to search high but mostly low for you, Oh MOTHER EggBertude –
– we want you to know that you remain in our hearts, our prayers, & in our stomachs as we continue our annual Mother EggBertrude Day EggBert Family Feast & Strip-Scrabble tournament, as the EggBert family enjoys fun & fellowship in your honor feasting together on the tasty traditional Mother EggBertrude casserole – made from the multiple stem-cell eggs (still ripe from her rather loose-lipped 70’s womb-bag) that we keep finding in the EggBert family backyard sandbox/gravel garden/event center/youth football complex -  and that over the years we have supplemented the fine feast with an assortment of  sprinkled, sassy & spicey sperm samples then stirred to a crisp…
Yum! (Hey, that’s a three letter triple word score – there goes Uncle Rusty’s Captain Kirk underpants…)
HAPPY MOTHER EggBertrude Day!!!
Sincerely,
EggBert & Family (except Mother EggBertha, who is somewhere where nobody knows or boldy goes anymore…)