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11 comments ↓

#1 Ghost of Dude on 05.19.09 at 2:42 pm

Ho about the deaf old guy who walks down the middlle of the trail and can’t hear you say “on your left” as he wanders in front of you? That’s my favorite bike trail character.

#2 l3wis on 05.19.09 at 3:29 pm

Keep them coming. I was also going to include ‘old man jogging frightened’ It was pretty funny. I always have the I-pod on, but CAN hear people, it’s a great excuse though to pretend you don’t hear them bitching at you.

Well, he wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I have seen him before. He was all the way to the right. When I passed him though I startled him and he screeches “WhooooahOlllayeaohahaha” Then he was screaming other shit at me. It was funny. The whole time I never turned around and acknowleged him. I bet he went to Culvers and bitched to his friends about it all day.

#3 Oliver Surden on 05.19.09 at 4:00 pm

I saw a Native American’s penis on the trail the other day. He was pissing right on the pathway underneath a bridge. I don’t even think he noticed me go by. I had to smile knowingly at the guy biking in the other direction, whose path I crossed seconds after nearly getting urinated upon. He was riding on the same side as said Urinative American and would surely get some splash-back if nothing else.

#4 l3wis on 05.19.09 at 4:15 pm

“When you gotta go, yah gotta go!”

#5 l3wis on 05.19.09 at 11:10 pm

I think we have all been a Urinative American one time or another on the bike trail. You should ask Rocco Tchetter about some of his outdoor SF pooh-pooh stories. Let’s just say he isn’t very nice to homeless people.

#6 Costner on 05.20.09 at 6:53 am

What about the high pants wearing three-abreast soccer moms who feel the need to discuss such riveting topics as the latest bag on display at the Coach store or how it is so beneficial to have the third row seat in their Chevy SuburbanYukonEscaladeGigantia so Billy and Sally don’t have to share a seat on their roadtrips to Omaha?

My other favorite is the steroid using fake-baked Mr. Olympia type who surprisingly is never able to bike or run and is always walking, but at the same time always seems to be holding his shirt in his hand so he can show off his shaved chest and tribal art on the arm.

Good times.

#7 l3wis on 05.20.09 at 7:08 am

What’s wrong with trible tattoos?

Everything.

#8 Angry Guy on 05.20.09 at 10:59 am

As long as your tattoos are unique, there isn’t anything wrong with tribal ink. Its when your crappy intertwined armband that doesn’t reach all the way around your overtanned orange bicep because you are too much of a pussy to finish what you started that I can’t remember where I was going with this rant… shit….

#9 Ghost of Dude on 05.20.09 at 11:16 am

I’m invisioning a rather entertaining future where grannies have tramp stamps (or ass antlers) and old geezers have tribal armbands.

#10 l3wis on 05.20.09 at 11:47 am

AG – I was making fun of TRIBLE tattoos, not TRIBAL. Can’t you read!!! I don’t consider the one on your leg Tribal art, that’s just frickin’ kick ass.

There was a girl at work the other day who had her back to me in the breakroom and she pulled up her shirt to scratch her back and she had a jailhouse tramp stamp. Thems the bestest!

#11 Costner on 05.21.09 at 9:06 am

This video pretty much sums up the whole future of tramp stamps.

Friggin’ hillarious.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/61336/saturday-night-live-turlingtons-lower-back-tattoo-remover

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