I wasn’t aware of this, but it seems you can improve a team’s success by changing their mascot to a more menacing animal. In light of this new discovery, the Sioux Falls Canaries will now be called the Sioux Falls Fighting Pheasants. Take THAT Wichita Wingnuts! Your days of intimidating the lowly Canaries with whimsical alliteration are over!

Granted, the new name does better reflect the local (imported) wildlife. But other than different uniforms and letterhead, what’s the difference? Will the games be any more fun to watch – especially from the right-field party zone – now that we have a new mascot? Doubtful. Will the league expand to more than five or six teams so there’s a little variety to the opponents? Not likely. Will the team break into the real MLB farm team system so we can see future all-stars instead of the odd has-been? That would be nice. In fact, all the changes mentioned above would be great, and a real improvement to our local sports scene. But all of them are difficult. Changing a name is easy. I wonder which changes local baseball fans would prefer.

I know what I’m going to do in honor of the new name. Tonight, I will take the last two pheasants out of my chest freezer, thaw them, cover them in bacon, stuff them with garlic, onions, and peppers, and roast them at about 300 degrees in a pan with about an inch of beer in the bottom until delicious.

Now there’s something I can cheer for.

12 Thoughts on “Lame.

  1. The best comment I have heard so far was on the Gargoyle Leader’s website;

    “What’s the new mascot’s name? Cocky?”

  2. They are also having tryouts for the new mascot.

    Rock out with your cock out, l3wis!

  3. “What’s the new mascot’s name? Cocky?”
    Nah, it’s “Dick”. Dick the Cock.
    (With apologies to Richard Cheney.)

    Someone should have consulted with the Redfield Pheasants. Dead birds will be thrown onto every ballfield, in the locker room, on the cars, at the umps, etc. It will be colorful.

  4. I talked to somebody in the know today about the new ownership, and there may be quite a few unhappy longtime fans. They’ve already taken away the lifetime tickets of the half dozen or so people that participated in the original naming contest. That’s not good PR. The upgrading of the concessions is good, but the rumor is that the pregame $1 taps promotion is history. They’re quite possibly not going to be as flexible in ticketing as before. For example, previously you could turn in unused tickets for future games. That probably won’t happen anymore. The list goes on, but I wanted to throw out a couple of examples.

    I also think it’s ridiculous to hold press conferences to announce cosmetic changes.

  5. Well, if they start making money, maybe they can pay back the taxpayers for all the work that was done to Canaries Stadium.

  6. talked to another who used to be really involved in the organization…the new name is not only a lame attempt of naming a 5th grade babe ruth league team’s name, but there was no need to change the name.
    Also did hear that they are not honoring many of the promises from the past, including some people who got tatoos an number of years ago. that’s just classless to turn those away. they aren’t losing money for that, they are just showing ignorance.
    just a note though, l3wis….the stadium has been paid back to the people. the team paid over $100K a year in “rent” for it, till the bonds were paid back, after they were, the “rent” was readjusted. just making sure to pay credit to those who worked on that.
    still, all this is sad to see the new owners sell out to…well, their own egos. good to know they are “our local” team. they have qualities we are proud of. NOT!

  7. anominous on February 18, 2010 at 9:39 pm said:

    Why name a team after a game bird? Aren’t these things Chinese?

  8. The Gargoyle slams them;


    “Maybe a more appropriate logo would have been a larger bird after all. Something more akin to a vulture, perhaps?”

  9. Just give yourself time to get used to it. I’m already less annoyed by it today than I was yesterday. I think a better name would have been the “chicken hawks.” Everyone knows they’re mean from the cartoons.

  10. Ghost of Dude on February 19, 2010 at 10:26 am said:

    I’m not annoyed by it, I just think it’s a stupid cosmetic change that didn’t need to be made when there are so many better things they could do.
    Improving the party atmosphere of the game (nobody’s really there to watch baseball – the adults want to drink beer and hang out and the kids want to play and catch free stuff) is a must. Moving the team into a league that actually matters is something they need to do to stay interesting.

  11. anominous on February 19, 2010 at 8:12 pm said:

    I like the argus’s concern for those of us who got canaries tattoos. But just what the fuck am I supposed to do with my events center tattoo now?

  12. Ghost of Dude on February 20, 2010 at 9:56 am said:

    Get out the cheese grater and a bottle of Rebel Yell. You know what to do next.

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