BREAKING: Pat Costello pulls out of Mayoral race, donates his campaign money to bikini contest at his bar, Borrowed Bucks

In a bizarre twist of fate, a South DaCola foot soldier told me yesterday that Pat has pulled out of the race. He said, to my soldier;

After a 100 days, I really didn’t know what I was going to do, besides spending my inheritance and ordering hamburger buns, what do I know about running a city?”

Some of his big wheel donors seemed a little disappointed that he wasn’t giving there money back instead of handing it out as prize money. Dana Dykhouse said,

“Now if I could be the official photographer at the contest, I might not be so upset, but I bought Pat, and he owes me more then some trailer park queen in a bikini. How about a 79% interest rate credit card?”

Huether, his closest competitor was asked what he thought about Costello pulling out;

“Hey, wow, that’s a great question. You know, Pat pulling out, hmmm, wow. I know he is a candidate, and now he isn’t. I have been talking to the people of Sioux Falls, and now is the time for change.”



3 comments ↓

#1 Poly43 on 04.01.10 at 4:56 am

LMFAO

but only for a minute til I realized how much truth there is in what is supposed to be an April Fools Day joke. ANYTHING short of Kermit will be a loss for the city.

Early prognostication? Sad to say, prolly huether and costello in a runoff. From conversations I’ve heard there will be a good number of senior citizens show up to vote. Which is good. After all, it is THEIR tax dollars from stagnant and fixed incomes the next administration plans to raid. The bad part is the senior citizens with no hair will more than likely vote for Kermit. The senior citizens with blue hair will throw enough votes at brown to keep kermit on the sidelines April 27th. Sure hope I’m wrong.

So costello or huether? Either way…the city loses.

Oh…and here are pics from the borrowed bucks meat market. Great family stuff, compliments of an ownership with great family values.

http://picasaweb.google.com/borrowedbucks

#2 Plaintiff Guy on 04.01.10 at 7:49 am

Maybe it’s true.

Castillo has a sex addiction and must go to the same rehab as Tiger and Jesse. They show you pictures of ugly women all day and no porn. Tiger and Jesse should have traded types. Give Tiger the tattooed lady and Jesse the debutant blonde. Instant cure.

#3 Plaintiff Guy on 04.01.10 at 7:59 am

Whoops, forget keywords so this gets Googled.

Sioux Falls
Mayor
Costello
Borrowed Bucks