Eggbert is back!

Hello Jello, fellow floggers:

The EggBert family & Nugent neighbors has been busy as of late, digging an abscess tunnel from the deliciously scrotumupmtious Senior Weenie Restaurant to our newly opened up family super stubbie shop, Eggbert & Bertha’s (next to Taco Ball just south of 41st & Lester Ave in the Empire Mold shopping area) and subsequently – having set up, prepared, and opened for business In May to serve the masses of Sewer Falls. Unfortunately, we all passed out at approximately 4AM on July 30th, from what we believe to be caused by Granny Gumption’s Turkey Turd Tart Farts. Well, after we awoke this morning from our dreamy (Creamy’s was steamy) & deep comas, we shared our aroma-coma dreams – except for Uncle Rusty & Grampappy Grumps, who both for some reason actually took soapy bubble-scrubbing baths. Anyhew, it seems our dreams consisted of farfetched news stories of sanitary napkins, tampoms, & poopy toads floating inside our drainage & tunnel basements – and if you can believe this part – the entire EggBert family & Nugent neighbors dreamt that our beloved Mayor Mikey Likes It actually ordered the feces of the entire citizenry of Sewer Falls to be pumped into the Sewer River and also officially advised our town’s swampy inhabitants to NOT USE OUR BLADDERS AND BOWELS FOR DAYS ON END whenever it rains…

Thank God, the Father, and the Holy Jeshuiiiit that this was all just a fake sanitary sewer emergency wet dream, and not a REAL sanitary sewer situation…

However, after further discussion amongst ourselves, we decided to begin hoarding our bowels and bladders just because we want to do what’s right & follow our EggBert family & Nugent neighbor wet dreams…

Sincerely,

EggBert & fellow GOP (Goofenstein’s Outhouse Patrol) bowel & bladder hoarders of America!!!



5 comments ↓

#1 Ghost of Dude on 08.16.10 at 8:11 am

our beloved Mayor Mikey Likes It actually ordered the feces of the entire citizenry of Sewer Falls to be pumped into the Sewer River and also officially advised our town’s swampy inhabitants to NOT USE OUR BLADDERS AND BOWELS FOR DAYS ON END whenever it rains…

I love you, Eggbert.

You magnificent bastard.

#2 scott on 08.16.10 at 8:22 am

i would gladly hold my bowels in exchange for a new events center!

#3 anominous on 08.16.10 at 8:51 am

Is it safe for us to bowhunt deer along the bike trail yet?

#4 EggBert on 08.26.10 at 9:00 pm

Dear Anonimouse:

Yes it is now quite safe to bowhunt deer turds along the bike trail, because as Mayor Mikey Likes It and Granny Gumption always put it: “The Best Part of waking up in Sewage Falls is your Neighbors’s Poopy in your Whisker Shop cup!”

Sincerely,

EggBert & Granny’s overfloweth Bathroom Coffee Can

#5 l3wis on 08.27.10 at 1:45 am

You should be in marketing EggBert.