The Ugly Table (#14)

CARROTS

I OFTEN WONDER IF CARROTS WOULD BE MORE POPULAR IF THEY WERE NAMED ORANGES? THEY ARE MORE OBVIOUSLY ORANGE THEN ORANGES.

PROBABLY NOT. AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? BECUZ CARROTS SUCK.

IT’S NOT LIKE THEY TASTE AS BAD AS LIVER OR ZUCCHINNI? THEY HAVE NO TASTE. COOKED OR RAW.

AND TRUST ME, I TRIED TO BECOME A FAN. I’VE SOAKED THEM IN RANCH DRESSING, COOKED THEM AND MIXED THEM WITH BUTTER AND BROWN SUGAR. STILL SHIT.

CARROTS BELONG TO THE COCONUT, RAISIN, BANANA FOOD GROUP IN MY BOOK (OTHER FOODS I HATE.)

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 12/12/10



10 comments ↓

#1 Pathloss on 12.12.10 at 8:13 pm

Skin them and keep cold in water in the refigerator. They’re a happy hour chewable with a good chardonnay. Leave them out from anything but a pot roast crock pot.

#2 l3wis on 12.12.10 at 8:19 pm

Enjoy yourself. I hate chardonnay and I hate carrots.

#3 Dave R on 12.12.10 at 8:21 pm

There is always carrot cake.

#4 l3wis on 12.12.10 at 8:38 pm

Ok, you got me there, like Banana bread (that I will only eat toasted).

#5 jeff on 12.13.10 at 6:06 am

grow your own. much better than the geneticaly modified, mass produced, store bought ones.

#6 rufusx on 12.13.10 at 4:23 pm

Slather them in butter. Mmmm – I’m gonna go make a very buttery grilled cheese samich right now.

#7 l3wis on 12.13.10 at 8:25 pm

What does that have to do with carrots?

#8 rufusx on 12.13.10 at 10:33 pm

Lots of BUTTER and some orange-colored stuff in the vicinty.

#9 Pathloss on 12.14.10 at 9:51 am

Carrot cake does sound good.

#10 Costner on 12.14.10 at 1:01 pm

I really have no opinion on carrots. I wouldn’t buy them and I wouldn’t order them as a side if given the option, but if they are served I might eat them. I can’t say as I dislike them, but I don’t really like them either.

Bananas on the other hand are awesome. I like them in their natural form, I like them in bread, I like things flavored to resemble bananas (like pudding), and I even like a good old banana and peanut butter sandwich from time to time.

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