Eggbert: Dear Fellow Fair Ground Goers

Aaaahhhhhhhh. Looking through our Nugent Neighbor’s Family Photo Album (SEE BELOW), we even figured out enough how to use the internets and located some of our favorite website stories on our iconic and most-beloved, most-respected, most-amazing, most-adored, most-idolized, most-peaceful, most-manly, most-conservative, most-humane, most-normalized, most-helpful, most-sane, most-Christian, and most-intelligentest person on the planet  – who just happened to perform an inspiring FREE as in FREEDOM concert last night at our wonderful city Fair Ground.

Yes, it is, and always will be, Ned’s, Jed’s, and Creamy’s Step-(Bastardly)2nd half-Cousin In-law, thrice removed…THEE EDDDIE NUGENT(“THE NUGG-BUGG” for short)!!!

With the EggBert Family, Neighbor Nugents, and THE NUGG-BUGG in town together at the same time, you better watch your backs, you liberal hippie-honkers, or you’ll libel to get sucked on by a tiger penis, shot in the crotch by a Zebra plastic bullet pellet gun, poked in the eye by the fish-hook on a Zebco fishing pole’s fishing line (or even possibly tragically killed accidentally by The NUGG BUGG’s weapon of choice – TV’s Ronco Pocket Fisherman, like when Creamy Nugent’s ex-boyfriend, Zip ZipperFish, lost his precious life when he mistook one for a Monster in His Pocket and rubbed it in the wrong way), or scared off by a Moslem-hating Tea partying dude dressed up in an Uncle Sam suit or President O’Bummer or something…

Sincerely,

EggBert, along with THE NUGG-BUGG and regular Nugent Neighbors, who we’ve been recently partying it up late each night with  – doing such macho, Republican and capitalistic things like hunting for road-kill in the dark, catching various non-edible varmints between our legs in a backwards and upside down crabwalk-like walk, roasting them all up on an open fire, spitting up the hairy parts, puking up the toenail parts, swallowing the anus parts, then frying it all up once more on a fire lit with their total carcass remains on top of our own freshly made manure coals then eating up the previously spit up and puked up parts – right after Gramps Grumps says meal-time Grace by praying to Christ-Almighty and Granny Gumption marinates it all with her own urinary recipe (what she calls her “cul-urinary expertease”)

 



1 comment so far ↓

#1 EggBert on 08.15.11 at 9:17 pm

Dear Fellow Fair Ground Corn-Dog Growers:

Just wanted ya all to know that the Neighbor Nugents’ relative, “THE NUGG-BUGG” now wants to be called THEE NUGG, no wait, that was his first name – he wants to now be called the “BIG COCKMAN CORN-DOG BUGGER!!!

Also, *&@UCK OWN-THIS has changed his courtin’ target from Granny Gumption’s ZUSTY tail to her PASTY (tasty and peculiar) corn giblets on her breast area. He also has legally changed his name to BUCK ANUS!

EggBert the update editor – who might just change his name to ALL-BEEFBert what with all this political weinerism ‘n corn-doggin’ goin’ on –