THE HUNGRY COUSIN

Customer: I would like to apologize for my cousin’s rude behavior.

ME: I didn’t even notice.

Well, actually I did, but after 3 loaves of bread, a gallon of water, a salad swimming in dressing, one & half steaks and two gigantic loaded baked potatoes, I wasn’t really concerned about his rudeness but if he was going to eat me.

Customer: It’s always something with him, the lighting, the music, the way the steak is cooked.

ME: Well his steak was cooked wrong, he had a reasonable complaint.

Well, kinda, WTF is the difference between a medium well and well done sirloin? A hint of pink, otherwise they both taste the same, like shit.

Customer: We were kicking each other under the table because his behavior has come to be expected.

ME: Oh, I know what you mean.

What I wanted to say is, maybe you should get him a membership to Weight Watchers for Christmas. Either that or a gift certificate to Breadsmith.

Either way, you’ll be sending a STRONG message.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 11/10/11

 

 

5 Thoughts on “The Ugly Table #56

  1. “Well, actually I did, but after 3 loaves of bread, a gallon of water, a salad swimming in dressing, one & half steaks and two gigantic loaded baked potatoes, I wasn’t really concerned about his rudeness but if he was going to eat me.”

    Thats killer and gave also gave me a disturbing visual. I guess the bright side of that is at least he’s downing a lot of water to push all that grub through his garbage disposal gut!

  2. I have never seen some shovel food that fast.

  3. Sounds like episode of Hog v. Food.

  4. you would think someone would be embarrassed to order two dinners for themselves.

  5. They didn’t, had to recook his steak, they always get a new side.

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