A conservative’s guide to the greasy side of DC (besides the caucus)

A guest post by my conservative friend, Matt Showers;

Yeah, you would think I would need to go through a car wash to scrub off all the grease once I visited with our (mis) representatives, Rounds and Thune. But luckily I escaped their offices with just a couple of brown streaks, mostly on my nose.

The real grease is all the fine eateries around DC. And I’m not talking about the fancy smancy places, when I travel I must eat the same greasy crap I eat in my Podunk college town of Brookings. So forget about the 4-Star ratings, I head straight to the fart factories of Irish Pubs.

I give O’Burgers on 4th street a 3 Fart rating, mostly because the cheese not only backed up my bowels it shut down the gas chamber.

Cabbage O’Nally’s really had the best Rueben of all. Naturally with all that Kraut, it got a 5 Fart rating, and a night on the rollaway (yeah, since the old lady is the breadwinner, she funded the trip).

I almost bit my fingers off eating this deep fried and breaded banger at Sausage O’Donnells. 4 Farts for sure.

I completed the trip with some Fish N’ Chips at the airport, it sure would have made Ronnie Proud, and easy 4 Farts which gave us a turbo boost on the way home.

So the next time you go to the Nation’s capital, don’t worry, they have plenty of places that serve the same greasy crap they serve at home. Your tummy will thank you, your butt, not so much.


1 comment so far ↓

#1 possum jenkins on 04.11.17 at 2:18 am

ehhhhh no
yer terlets gonna break


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