Do Lifeguards, Librarians and City Directors have vulnerable immune systems?

In a recent national medical study funded by a local government agency they found some startling results; public employees who work as librarians, lifeguards, city directors and managers have very poor immune systems. So poor, the common cold could knock they out for months, even have life-threatening results.

Dr. Bowlshyt who assisted with the study said, “We kept wondering why everyone else in the private sector was going back to work, and managing Covid infections just fine except this group of the workforce. Heck even firefighters, public works employees and police were having low cases.”

For a long time here in our own city and across the country there seemed to be a reluctance to open public libraries, swimming pools and local government offices, now we know why.

“Some have argued that this group may be arrogant, or paranoid for not going back to work like everyone else, like they are some special class of people. But that may not be the case,” continued Dr. Bowlshyt, “While we did find a high level of anxiety and paranoia with this group, we chalked it up to being public employees. But what we found in our medical study is that not only do some of them lack a backbone (said in a sarcastic tone) but they virtually have NO immune system either.”

This may explain why our city and many other cities refuse to send these people back to work. They may have had this medical data all along.

Economist Darrell Dewnuthin also weighed in on the economic side of paying these people while they ‘Joe Biden’ it in their basements, “Well, in reality, does this sector of people really work anyway? Have we noticed any change to the functionality of our cities while this sector of people have been absent? None to report. Cities have actually been saving money because they don’t have these facilities open.”

The only difference is that the taxpayers are still paying the wages and benefits associated with this group of people while they essentially ‘work’ from home. But it’s kind of hard to check out a book, swim in a pool or get a building permit from places that are closed. So what really have they been working on the past several months?

Local citizen advocate Pam Tanga thinks she knows the answer to that question, “What they have been doing before Covid hit. NOT MUCH!”



4 comments ↓

#1 Fear & Loathing in Sioux Falls on 06.20.20 at 6:49 pm

“While they ‘Joe Biden’ it in their basements”? Be careful, Trump might steal that line. The less talk about Stormy and others things, and the more talk about Joe’s pursuit of a VP choice with the help of a “binder of women”, that he might conveniently have in his basement, could all work to Trump’s advantage. #WhoGotRomneysBinderAnyHow?

#2 D@ily Spin on 06.20.20 at 10:12 pm

Interesting but mostly BS. Public employees are insecure. They look busy to keep their jobs. It’s above average wage and good benefits. They’d be happier challenged with a few losses then a big gain. People who hire public employees are building kingdoms. Job performance is not expected. They don’t want someone who might replace them. Those who do such studies need something else to focus on. Try impact on private unemployed. They’re starving. Public workers are home paid well while playing video games.

#3 D@ily Spin on 06.21.20 at 9:54 pm

What bothers me most is the city Parks Department. 70 employees and no minorities. Then, mowing city golf courses and several other areas requires a contract with a Nebraska company.
How many attorneys does it take for this city. Lots, once they realize they can’t win cases they quit. The Charter is unconstitutional and there’s city corruption. It’s no wonder they choose honesty over a state ethics hearing.

#4 D@ily Spin on 06.21.20 at 10:06 pm

The Parks Department has its own kingdom at the east city limits with its own logo. They should be called ‘CHOP’.

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