AG Ravnsborg was reaching for the Holy Grail when he hit and killed pedestrian

After we found out yesterday that Jason was actually driving in the shoulder of the road (almost in the ditch) when he hit Mr. Boever, we were quickly told he was distracted by something, but no one can say what. Speculation is he may have fallen asleep, could have been speeding and lost control, or even worse texting and driving. Some have argued that NOT all distracted driving is the fault of the driver and could be considered an unfortunate accident. The right wing spin machine (which has been famous at protecting Republican office holders who don’t seem to have regard for traffic laws) have been arguing that maybe Jason’s distraction wasn’t his fault.

Highway Patrol Officer, Donald Killsadeer said there are some distinct possibilities, “Once we had a Republican legislator from out in the NW part of the state that had to swerve off the road due to a group of leprechauns crossing the road. We never found them, but he’s a Republican legislator, so we took his word for it.”

Those that are close to Ravnsborg are telling us that after he left the Lincoln Day Dinner that night that before he got to Highmore he saw a bright light in the road and stopped. Right there in the center of the road was an angel holding the Holy Grail. The angel told Jason to take it to Pierre and give it to Noem.

Close friend, Clyde Smorgesborg told us, “Jason didn’t want to leave it out of his site, so he placed it on the dashboard. While he was rounding the turn in Highmore the Grail fell to the floor, as Jason was reaching to grab it he went off the road and hit Boever.”

Hmm, seems plausible, but we were suspicious of one thing about Jason’s alibi. Why was he bringing the Holy Grail to Noem?

Smorgesborg explains, “Oh, that’s easy, Jesus Christ sent it down from Heaven to give to Noem to protect her on the campaign trail for Donald Trump. There’s a lot of crazies out there, and they all seem to gather at Trump rallies.”

So it looks like Jason (like most Republicans in our state) has Jesus on his side.

Case closed.



14 comments ↓

#1 D@ily Spin on 11.03.20 at 8:32 pm

Creative commentary, like the police report. Republicans run over Democrats. He needs Janklow’s lawyers so there’s nothing more than community service.

#2 anominous on 11.04.20 at 9:46 am

that metaphor is just a fancy way to say he could have been jerking off, right?

#3 Eve Fisher on 11.04.20 at 9:58 am

Good one!

#4 Pullingatoobin on 11.04.20 at 12:50 pm

I doubt he was Pulling A Toobin while driving. This was a horrible accident to be sure. But, you clowns are acting like because he’s a Republican, he doesn’t care about the life of another. Think about the odds….stretch of road with very little traffic, fairly late at night, you happen to go off onto the shoulder where someone is walking in the dark. It could happen to any one of us, too bad you are using someone’s death as a political tool. Says a lot about you.

#5 l3wis on 11.04.20 at 1:12 pm

What is truly sad is how many Republican elected officials in our state that have gotten away with killing people.

#6 l3wis on 11.04.20 at 1:14 pm

I Richard Benda who killed himself with a five foot branch

#7 l3wis on 11.04.20 at 1:15 pm

Or Randy Scott who was mowed down and Janklow blames a diet coke

#8 l3wis on 11.04.20 at 1:15 pm

How about Gina Score who was ran to death

#9 l3wis on 11.04.20 at 1:19 pm

Or how about Scott Westerhuis who happened to kill his whole family, yeah right

#10 "Very Stable Genius" on 11.04.20 at 2:36 pm

Janklow tried to start his car and leave. Jason was allowed to borrow Barney Fife’s personal car, and then leave. Things are getting worse. Now, others are allowing themselves to be implicit. It’s like we are being run by the mob. But then again, where is Westerhuis’s safe? Why is Noem infatuated with a dark, long, cashmere coat guy, who once owned casinos in NJ? And can a twig kill you, without some help?

#11 l3wis on 11.04.20 at 4:18 pm

The re-enactment video of Myers and Hubble of the 5 foot branch scenario is hilarious

#12 "Very Stable Genius" on 11.04.20 at 4:33 pm

The one thing that has been forgotten about concerning the “5 foot branch scenario”, is, that the original claim was, that Benda was killed by a stray bullet due to a feud with one of Bendas cousin’s neighbors over a dead horse, which happened along the red/white line. No, I am not kidding. But right now, I am having trouble finding that article some seven years later… #IThoughtItWasADeer

#13 The Guy From Guernsey on 11.04.20 at 11:52 pm

VSG,
Not certain about involvement of “cousin’s neighbor”, but …
Comment section from an archived Madvillle Times blog post. References Mitchell Daily News articles.

https://madvilletimes.com/2013/10/mdr-benda-goes-pheasant-hunting-dies-with-bullet-hole-in-side/#comments

#14 "Very Stable Genius" on 11.05.20 at 11:03 am

Thanks TGfG.