Poops Text Gate is just the tip of the Iceberg

After bribing one of HenTaken’s campaign goons with a (fake) autographed picture of Reagan standing next to John Wayne I was given access to Poops future text messages to his followers. Here is a sampling;

‘Village on the River was my fault . . . just kidding.’

‘I was put on laundry duty tonight. Yes, Dutchmen can fold . . . Benjamins!’

‘I will fire another city director today. Big reveal tomorrow!’

‘I have a tramp stamp . . . BLESSED.’

‘Erica has been running the city the past 3 1/2 years. My bad.’

‘Marshall just told me the secret of his success. I forget.’

‘Good luck getting Werther’s candy at HyVee on Minnesota. SOLD OUT!’

‘I will be talking to a random minority group on Thursday. SELFIE MANIA!’

‘COVID is sooooo 2021!’

‘Pinball rocks! The Bonus Round room at StartUp Sioux Falls will pay the yearly rent.’

‘Pride Sioux Falls asked me again to read a proclamation. I feel a family camping trip coming on.’

This is just a sampling of the text messages supporters will receive over the next couple of weeks. Share yours!


#1 Archie Bunkeramp on 02.15.22 at 1:04 am

‘Has anyone seen my tie?’….

#2 Fear & Loathing in Sioux Falls on 02.15.22 at 1:09 am

‘I just found Denny’s phone in the cushion cracks of a State Theatre comfy chair’…

#3 Further Fear & Loathing on 02.15.22 at 1:13 am

‘The Chief just cut his sideburns. I haven’t been this devastated since TJ leaving me’….

#4 Fearing the Fuhrer & More on 02.15.22 at 1:16 am

‘Chick-fil-A is thinking about an Eastside location. Time to exercise some property options’….

#5 Very Stable Genius on 02.15.22 at 1:37 am

‘I am the tire spray guy at Silverstar this weekend. 85th & Minnesota. Tips!’…..

‘My daughter is starting her own PAC. Donate NOW!’….

‘Beck and I fixed the Zamboni with my toolbox’….

‘The Dutch Mafia is now hiring for the campaign. Must have own car trunk and crowbar”…

#6 Archie Nemesis on 02.15.22 at 10:48 am

‘I accidentally deleted John King’s number. Does anyone else have it?’….

#7 "Woodstock" on 02.15.22 at 10:56 am

“‘Now, my AirPods are missing, too. HELP!’…..”

#8 Very Stable Genius on 02.15.22 at 1:11 pm

Okay, I agree this is my last one:

(The weekend before the April 12th election.)

‘This weekend only, get two months of washes for the price of one at Silverstar. Just tell them that MP or Paul sent you. And remember the convenient voting boxes there, too.’

#9 Tip Box on 02.15.22 at 2:59 pm

Join the police for free Silverstar washes and Chick-fil-A

#10 VSG on 02.15.22 at 3:27 pm

Oh, I almost forgot. I also want to ask for NTNLIQ’s forgiveness once again. His constant constructive criticism is always appreciated.

#11 Freebee on 02.17.22 at 4:48 pm

Be a cop, win a 25 year trip

#12 VSG on 02.18.22 at 9:52 am

Okay, one more:

‘Now hiring cops. Landline users preferred’…..

#13 anominous on 02.20.22 at 2:13 pm

would not surprise if pth had a twitter botnet for his campaign, why not just use that, idk