So that's why he's so fucking jolly all of the time!

The REAL reason Santa is so jolly!

The active ingredients of the amanita mushrooms are not metabolized by the body, and so they remain active in the urine. In fact, it is safer to drink the urine of one who has consumed the mushrooms than to eat the mushrooms directly, as many of the toxic compounds are processed and eliminated on the first pass through the body.

It was common practice among ancient people to recycle the potent effects of the mushroom by drinking each other’s urine. The amanita’s ingredients can remain potent even after six passes through the human body. Some scholars argue that this is the origin of the phrase “to get pissed,” as this urine-drinking activity preceded alcohol by thousands of years.


It seems to get worse every year. Businesses, schools, and media outlets go crazy about this magical thing called “Holiday”.

I have what I would call a low tolerance for BS. So this whole idea does not sit well with me. I realize that not everyone celebrates Christmas, but for the love of all that is holy, please be honest about it. We aren’t decorating trees at the mall for Hanukkah, we aren’t preparing a delicious spiral-sliced ham for Ramadan, and we don’t cover houses, businesses, and public buildings in strings of seizure-inducing flashing lights for Kwanza.

There has been a lot said by some notable right wingers about a “war on Christmas” (why does everything have to be a war to these people?). I personally don’t think there’s any kind of  organized effort to marginalize Christmas. What I see is PC feel-good crap run amok. It’s an effort that probably started in the meeting room of a fortune 500 company’s HR department and spread like a virus to all corners of business and media. The same minds that brought us “Holiday” belong to people who have given us corporate buzz-words like “right-sizing” and “synergize”.

I’m tired of having my intelligence insulted by some PC meme telling me I’m shopping for “Holiday” preasents, attending a “Holiday” parade, and drinking 180 proof eggnog to be able to tolorate the relatives who come visit every “Holiday”.  I’m tired of commercials, which now seem to start in September, advertising a “Holiday” sale coming up with evergreen branches, jingle bells, and Christmas ornaments in the background. You’re not fooling anyone - just come out and say it: you want us to buy useless crap to give to people for Christmas. If you’re going to exploit a religious holiday for monetary gain, at least have the courtesy to mention the name of said holiday. I promise no one (important) will be offended.


Rant off.