Hello, my fellow citizens:
My Grampappy Grumpy Gumpty has another quick question he would like to ask you local yokels: “What in Hades is our newest color of Homeland advisory terrorism alert status since City Councilor Big Man-Boob Schlitz is now wantin’ metal detectors and such at City Council Meetings? I think he’s worried about some crazy SFalls citizen tryin’ to touch one of his buffed-up man-boobs.”
 
Sincerely,
EggBert 1qaz2wsx3edc4rfv5tgb6yhn7ujm8ik,9ol.0p;/-[‘=]\