The Ugly Table #43 (H/T – MH)


Lady: I will have a cheesecake and a cup of coffee, black.

Me: A piece of cheesecake?

Lady: No. A whole cheesecake.

Me: The whole thing?

Lady: Yes. And keep the coffee coming.

Shortly after she finished the whole cheesecake and six cups of coffee, she proceeded to the restroom with her large purse. I expected to hear an explosion of caffeine and dairy product. Not at all. She could be heard screaming muttered obscenities like ‘Fucking Bastard’ and ‘I fucking hate you.’

I can understand how that much sugar and coffee can affect you, but I was a bit concerned, so the (female) owner of the restaurant knocked on the door and asked if the lady was okay. When she opened the door she found cheesecake lady cursing an icon of Jesus placed in the toilet.

She was asked to leave.

(I know what your thinking, but this shit is true. I laughed about this for weeks.)

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 5/27/11



#1 anominous on 05.28.11 at 9:10 am

Did she leave a tip?

#2 Adolph DeFlore on 05.28.11 at 9:29 am

“Did she leave a tip?”

She was yelling at Toilet Jesus, not performing a circumcision. Geez.

#3 Pathloss on 05.28.11 at 10:31 am

Tip: Never invite aetheists for coffee and desert.

#4 l3wis on 05.28.11 at 10:20 pm

She did leave a tip, she had already paid me before the toilet incident.

PL – actually I have this couple who are atheists and good friends of mine, I love going out for supper with them, we actually talk about issues and not bullshit.

#5 sheep herder on 05.29.11 at 1:19 pm

The people you associate (customers) with! How can you handle that much fun?!?