The Ugly Table #43 (H/T – MH)

by

CHEESECAKE LADY AND TOILET JESUS.

Lady: I will have a cheesecake and a cup of coffee, black.

Me: A piece of cheesecake?

Lady: No. A whole cheesecake.

Me: The whole thing?

Lady: Yes. And keep the coffee coming.

Shortly after she finished the whole cheesecake and six cups of coffee, she proceeded to the restroom with her large purse. I expected to hear an explosion of caffeine and dairy product. Not at all. She could be heard screaming muttered obscenities like ‘Fucking Bastard’ and ‘I fucking hate you.’

I can understand how that much sugar and coffee can affect you, but I was a bit concerned, so the (female) owner of the restaurant knocked on the door and asked if the lady was okay. When she opened the door she found cheesecake lady cursing an icon of Jesus placed in the toilet.

She was asked to leave.

(I know what your thinking, but this shit is true. I laughed about this for weeks.)

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 5/27/11

 

Posted in: Poetry, The Ugly Table

5 Thoughts on “The Ugly Table #43 (H/T – MH)”

  1. anominous on May 28, 2011 at 9:10 am said:

    Did she leave a tip?

  2. Adolph DeFlore on May 28, 2011 at 9:29 am said:

    “Did she leave a tip?”

    She was yelling at Toilet Jesus, not performing a circumcision. Geez.

  3. Pathloss on May 28, 2011 at 10:31 am said:

    Tip: Never invite aetheists for coffee and desert.

  4. l3wis on May 28, 2011 at 10:20 pm said:

    She did leave a tip, she had already paid me before the toilet incident.

    PL – actually I have this couple who are atheists and good friends of mine, I love going out for supper with them, we actually talk about issues and not bullshit.

  5. sheep herder on May 29, 2011 at 1:19 pm said:

    The people you associate (customers) with! How can you handle that much fun?!?

Post Navigation