I was disappointed to hear that this burger name was censored by DTSF;
Where did this deliciousness get its name from…. The original name was The Krusti Noem Burger. Sadly, DTSF (Downtown Sioux Falls) does not support our freedom of speech and they were not going to allow us to be part of Burger Battle 2020 if we didn’t change the name. Not wanting any of you to be deprived of this mouthwatering burger we played nice and appropriately renamed it The Censored Burger [flyer posted by LoShi NayKali, Facebook, 2020.01.09].
I guess I would have been more clever and called it the Krusty Gnome, either way, it got me thinking about other burgers that could possibly be censored by DTSF (Please feel free to add to the list in the comments area)
10Haken Selfie Burger – So handsome and beautiful you’ll want to take your picture with it.
The Mini-Ha-Ha Commissioner – This burger is only available at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The McGoWOWan – marinated in whiskey, light beer and fantastic after a long drunken bike ride.
The Theresa – open face bun, almost transparent patty and made with bull meat. Tough and hard to swallow.
The ManSplainZert – You are required to eat with a fork and knife so you don’t get your hands all dirty and germy. It also comes with a 4-page document from the creator explaining the burger.
The Downtowner – We are not sure what is on this burger since all of the ingredients have been censored.
The Dorfer – You can’t actually physically eat this burger, you can only view a picture of it using a phone app, but it does come with a FREE bus pass to the casino (and a drink coupon).
The Ravonsburger – The only ingredients listed are ‘Unconstitutional’.
The Stace – This burger is made with gun powder and angrily pounded patties.
The Mike Saburger – made with Egyptian beef and South Dakota soybeans.
The RS5 Burger – A patty the shape of the word ‘YES’ and pounded in darkness with a giant rubber stamp.
The Mickeyson – made with CAFO beef and only available at the SFSD cafeteria. It also comes with a yard sign, but you probably cannot afford it.
The Saudi Super Stack – Created by the SD GOP chair and made with Iowa kosher beef. You must also put down a retainer before they will cook it and only pay for it with cash.
The Powerful Pitty Patty – claims to be the best burger in the state, but kind of mysteriously tastes like fried cod.
The Ironic Johnny Thunburg – tastes like nothing and has NO dietary benefits, but the POTUS gives it a B+.
The Dusty Diner – This is the perfect burger to snack on if you are just sitting around all afternoon in a small town cafe shooting the breeze with retired farmers and bitching about Mexicans.
The Roundsburg – Made with processed beef from an EB-5 financed packing plant. Wait, didn’t they all close? It also comes with a demonstration from Lora Hubbel on how to shoot a shotgun using a 3 foot branch.
The Maherburger – You’ll have to quit eating it before your finished, it also costs $300 million dollars.
The Siouxie Steele – this burger comes with a rebate to be paid back to you over the next 20 years.
The McLoyd – this burger is paid for by a generous donation from the city of Sioux Falls.
The Denty – only available at the Events Center. It comes with a lopsided bun and a crooked patty that is forced down your throat by your server. This one also promises a rebate but you have to go to the SD Supreme Court to get it. It will probably win the burger battle, but only on an ‘advisory’ vote.
The Village River Bunker Stack – the most expensive and ugliest burger on the menu, but it’s NOT available currently due to pending litigation on it’s ingredients.
The Copper Burger – this one falls over on your plate before you can eat it and comes with a free LLC registration coupon.
The Big Pioux – marinated in the water of the Big Sioux River taken right below the packing plant. As a friend stated to me. ‘I never thought E-Coli could taste so good?’ Expect a porky, pesticide ammonia after taste to last for days.
The Levitt Liscious – the only totally FREE burger, but you have to buy a drink.
The Jazzy Festival – This burger will be discontinued next year.
The Arguliscious – only available online, occasionally, expensive and not very filling.
The Stormland Telly Burger – only good on a rainy day
The KSFDLTY Burger – includes ingredients from all the food trucks in Sioux Falls and some of Shawn Cable’s hair gel.
The Brady Malliscious Pompaburger – Absolutely Fabulous Bitches!
The All of a Suddon Billie Burger – Just a half of ounce shy of a full pound of beef, but very Christian.
The DaCola – bitter and full of sh*t.
The My Man Mayor Bowlcut and Bucktooth burger – full of more sh*t than my burger, but so incredibly polished you can see your reflection in the patty.