South DaCola

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Why are restaurants in Sioux Falls failing?

l3wis 10Comments

Well, at least someone in the media has figured it out;

I am beginning to wonder if this market is adding restaurants faster than it’s growing the resident and visitor population. 

That’s one of the problems. The other is horrible service (many experienced managers and servers left the industry during Covid, permanently). Prices of course with inflation are also to blame. Food quality is also at an all time low due to cost cutting by restaurants. Also, there really is no destinations. Just look at the restaurants and bars that are always busy, they have great service, good food, decent price points and a reason to be there. I’m sorry, an aluminum stool at a bar with Coors Light on tap and a buffalo chicken wrap on the menu isn’t roping me in or keeping me there. I think the hospitality industry in Sioux Falls needs to realize the same old, same old, just ain’t cutting it anymore.

There is only a handful of locally owned restaurants I go to anymore, and they are getting slimmer. I also got a kick out of this statement;

and even the impact of so many people using weight-loss drugs, 

I about fell out of my chair laughing at that one. If people can’t afford to go out to eat, they certainly can’t afford $1,000 a month designer diet pills. Look around at people when you are at a restaurant and count the people who are NOT overweight. You may find 2-3 out of 40. Trust me, people are getting enough food to eat. It’s the garbage we are being fed.

abortion Food food tax Marijuana South Dakotans

Lots of fun initiatives this fall on the ballot, VOTE YES ON ALL!

l3wis 0Comments

So I had a change of heart, I almost voted against the food tax repeal, but realized that taxing food is wrong. Of course, our moronic state legislature will just raise taxes on all other retail goods to make up for it essentially hurting the poor even more. These clowns will never figure it out. As for the mayor and his income tax dog and pony show, never gonna happen. This state is ran by Republicans who want to keep their income, they would never in a million years vote for an income tax, and Poops the Apologizer knows it.

So what is on the ballot? Don’t ask me what all the letters and numbers mean, I just know what the proposals are;

Repeal Food Tax: YES! (see above)

Rec MJ: YES! (I have never cared much for Noem, think she is possibly the dumbest person on earth, but when she got the SD Supreme Court to overturn the first time this was passed, all I could think was ‘worthless’ and several other colorful words that mostly started with ‘C’ (you know, for Cannabis). How can you overturn the will of the people? So worthless.

Open Primaries: YES! (I had to do my research on this. While both parties may not like it, f’ck them. 51% of registered voters in America are Indies and we are tired of sitting on the sidelines while the parties play their f’ckery all day long. Alaska recently went with this (they are a rural red state like us) and it has had positive returns in the legislature. The extremists in both parties are gone and the moderates and indies rule the day, and guess what? They are passing positive legislation instead arguing all day!

Legal Abortion: YES! (This is a no-brainer. A majority of Americans support this. I have to admit, I am not a fan of abortion for any reason, especially for birth control. But families and especially women have the right to make these decisions. While aborting a viable fetus can be confusing to those of us on the outside, we don’t know what is going on in the inside. And really, it is none of our business.

While I think some of the clowns running these campaigns are really just grifters making a buck from their endeavors* (whether they win or lose) I do support the initiatives or measures, etc., etc.

*Just look at all the government subsidies this dude got during Covid for his ‘businesses’. Bars and restaurants? Historical theaters? Give me a break! While I support what they are trying to do, don’t be fooled, like the whackos on the other side who are blatantly profiting from the anti-campaign these guys are also making a living.

Say what you will about Theresa Stehly, she has NEVER profited from her initiatives and has used her own personal wealth, several times. It would be wise for these guys to spend a little time with someone who knows how to run these campaigns modestly, you know, where you are not taking ‘consulting’ fees. What a bunch of weasels.

Food Humor Political Satire Satire Sioux Falls Zombie Walk

Walking ‘DEAD’ Tacos latest Sioux Falls Fast Food Trend

l3wis 7Comments

A couple that recently moved here from Transylvania via California (long story) has come up with an interesting Fast Mexican concept; Zombies and Tacos.

“My wife and I just decided that getting served at most fast casual restaurants in town is like being waited on by Zombies, so we just decided, why not just make it the theme of the restaurant,” says co-owner Victor Count.

Victor does warn you, most orders take between 2 hours to 2 days. “We have one customer that orders his Wednesday lunch on Monday afternoons. He is pretty happy, usually gets it by Friday!”

We wondered how hard it may be to find good zombie (actors) these days to work in the Count’s establishment.

“You know. Not as hard as you may think. Sylvia and I drove around to the different fast food places a day before training started and we were able to round up a full staff within a couple of hours. The trick was catching new recruits by the dumpsters smoking weed . . . those are the real foot draggers!”

Victor did inform me that they also have a pretty good supply of Narcan on hand for employees and customers. “Some places carry Dental and Vision, we carry fricking life support!”

The Counts also plan to be open 24 hours like that ‘other’ Mexican(?) food joint and unlike them, you don’t have to worry about being shot in the drive thru or parking lot.

“Not only is our location well lit we don’t have a lot of people trying to rob us at gun point when our employees are already dead. During the last robbery attempt the perp served half his prison sentence before the manager could even open the safe.”

Food Food Stamps food tax Sioux Falls

Sioux Falls Mobile Grocery Store

l3wis 6Comments

I actually support this idea;

The City of Sioux Falls will be launching a new mobile market offering healthy foods at an affordable cost.

This would include multiple buses with markets stationed throughout neighborhoods in Sioux Falls.

The city will be giving two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to Sioux Falls Thrive to pilot the “Eat Well Sioux Falls mobile market.”

One of the best things about this idea is that the group pushing this, Thrive, lead by former city councilor Michelle Erpenbach, is that they are not re-inventing the wheel, they are instituting the proposal built on proven programs used in other cities and countries.

If you watch the entire presser, you will also realize that the program is expected to be self-sustaining after 18 months. In other words this isn’t just another problem the city throws money at and forgets about a year later, there is a long term goal to make this work.

One of the other intriguing parts is that they will try to help people sign up for SNAP benefits if they need that assistance. I would go even a step farther and have job listings and access to employment and higher education opportunities.

Let’s face it, between inflation, the roller coaster economy, high cost of housing and low wage jobs in Sioux Falls we have put ourselves in this place.

I was astonished to hear in the latest financial report from the city that in 2022 over 50% of sales tax revenue came from restaurants. The hospitality industry is known for some of the lowest wages of any sector.

I’m not sure why the service industry is propping up our sales tax collection but it is proof our economy in Sioux Falls is being supported by a low wage industry. Maybe Thrive needs to look at this disconnect?

I think everyone should have access to affordable food but they also should have access to liveable wages.

Food Humor Parody Satire SFPD Sioux Falls Uncategorized

Sioux Falls Police Officer gets fired from his part-time food delivery job

l3wis 4Comments

Recently Sioux Falls patrol officer Paul Whitechurch got the idea to join a national food delivery company for a side hustle after seeing one of his fellow officers with such a positive experience that took over social media in Sioux Falls.


“I just thought after sitting in my patrol car all day at the skate park it would be a nice change to actually work in a moving car.” said officer Whitechurch “While police work is certainly very fulfilling, what attracted me to this side hustle is the pleasure of delivering fast food to lazy bastards who are willing to pay $10 bucks for me to deliver food from a restaurant a 3 blocks away.”

Whitechurch was surprised that after only a week on the job that the corporate office informed him that he was terminated.

We contacted the office to see if we could figure out why he was terminated so quickly? They sent us a statement;

‘While we try not to talk about why our independent contractors are terminated, we feel Whitechurch broke so many rules we needed to share. His delivery response times were about 3 to 4 times slower than our Sioux Falls average and sometimes he would bring 4-6 friends to assist him with the delivery. He was also caught eating the food he was supposed to deliver and even if he made it in good time, he never wore a mask when in contact with customers. That may fly at his day job, but at our business we take our protocols seriously and they must be followed.’

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