A couple that recently moved here from Transylvania via California (long story) has come up with an interesting Fast Mexican concept; Zombies and Tacos.
“My wife and I just decided that getting served at most fast casual restaurants in town is like being waited on by Zombies, so we just decided, why not just make it the theme of the restaurant,” says co-owner Victor Count.
Victor does warn you, most orders take between 2 hours to 2 days. “We have one customer that orders his Wednesday lunch on Monday afternoons. He is pretty happy, usually gets it by Friday!”
We wondered how hard it may be to find good zombie (actors) these days to work in the Count’s establishment.
“You know. Not as hard as you may think. Sylvia and I drove around to the different fast food places a day before training started and we were able to round up a full staff within a couple of hours. The trick was catching new recruits by the dumpsters smoking weed . . . those are the real foot draggers!”
Victor did inform me that they also have a pretty good supply of Narcan on hand for employees and customers. “Some places carry Dental and Vision, we carry fricking life support!”
The Counts also plan to be open 24 hours like that ‘other’ Mexican(?) food joint and unlike them, you don’t have to worry about being shot in the drive thru or parking lot.
“Not only is our location well lit we don’t have a lot of people trying to rob us at gun point when our employees are already dead. During the last robbery attempt the perp served half his prison sentence before the manager could even open the safe.”
Personally, I would rather have a zombie feed me tacos, than an eighteen year old with multiple tattoos on their body that are quite visible. But the most offensive thing of all is the walking taco itself. It’s purely disgusting as you look into it with your plastic fork at hand and move the taco fixings around within the configurations of the internal “Reynolds Wrap” lining of a Frito Lay’s bag for instance, which is reminiscent of what is left at the bottom of your stainless steel sink’s drain after you have let all of the water out and you then find yourself staring at an ungodly array of left over food particles whose vividness has been lost to the flood of water that passed through them as they made their way to the drain stoppage point which prevents some stuff from going further, only to then leave you with still visible bits of noodles, soggy bread pieces, hamburger parts, and vegetable remnants which were once a part of a much better appetizing arrangement, I must say…. Yes, a walking taco is truly disgusting. It even scares me more than any tattoo depicting a bloody zombie, indeed.
Down in the Omaha area, they have something called Voodoo Tacos and they aren’t bad. Their prices aren’t bad either, because you would think some supply- side tacos might just be pricey, but they aren’t. #VoodooEconomics
Oh, and I’m glad to see that this taco war is finally over with as well:
https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/24/business/taco-tuesday-taco-bell-settlement/index.html
( and Woodstock adds: “‘Voodoo Tacos’?”…. “But do they cast a spell on you if you don’t finish your plate?”…)
“Yippee!!!…. We finally have a Speaker!”….. ” But I hope he can speak”….. “I believe he has some generic name like Dusty, I mean Mike Johnson, but oh well”….. “And, in his earlier years, didn’t he star in ‘Honey, I Shrunk the Kids!’?”…..: #HoneyIShrunkTheDemocracy. ……:
https://www.axios.com/2023/10/24/mike-johnson-house-speaker-republican-candidate
https://www.alamy.com/honey-i-shrunk-the-kids-image68021997.html
So much for my Scottish-Irish conspiracy theory, you know like McConnell, McCarthy, and McHenry….. But now, we have another Johnson. And, we have had two Johnson presidencies. The first and last Democratic Senators from South Dakota were Johnsons, too, and let’s not forget about Dusty. He claims to be a Johnson, too…. And also, remember, some call it their Johnson, but whatever you do, don’t call me Johnson:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoYsfbq3vMc
The House of RIP’s fraternity boys have a new speaker. Must be time to extend the budget well into 2024. Johnsons work for tacos, not LBGTQ.
Why do we keep getting Rick Moranis-ed? Who’s this guy now?…..:
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/white-democrats-upset-dean-phillips-expected-launch-challenge/story?id=104352210
AND, isn’t the other Rickrolling bad enough?…..:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCdA4bJAGGk
“Personally, I blame it all on Ryan Reynolds”….:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfpUM5Wrh2A