Entries Tagged 'Humor' ↓

Is the current mayor looking to bring back the last administration?

Don’t take my word for it, just listen to this audio (by the South Dakota Department of Propaganda).

As rumors have been swirling about whether the former mayor will run for that position again in 2024 it seems the current mayor is busy re-instating his former administrators.

“It’s not just the lead city attorney, by the time he is sworn back in office, he will be fully staffed with with several of his former directors and administrators,” said the current mayor.

I guess I was a little curious how he knew he was even running again and that he would win.

“C’mon Man! Don’t you think it would be a little frustrating for newly elected Mayor Stehly to charge forward with her new administration using his staff? We are just eliminating the guess work for voters. If you re-elect him instead it will be a smooth transition as most if not all of his former staff will already be in place.”

The current mayor also mentioned he will be re-instating some other folks soon, but the list seemed incomplete;

The Former Police Chief, What’s His Name, the guy who hands out free food now.

The former Fire Chief, as soon as his probation is done of course.

That former planning or parking guy, you know the guy who quit city council because he got his butt kicked in the mayoral election and was instrumental in screwing up the Bunker Ramp project before it was the Bunker Ramp project.

Oh and that other guy who helped him screw up the project before it was a project. He used to hang out at the Copper Lounge a lot.

And the communications person who said bloggers were not a part of the media, or were they a part of the media? She should really warn people about mayors in large trucks trying to run over people in swimming pool parking lots.

And really anyone even with a partial knowledge of IT to run IT, or is it the Financial Cultural Street Crimes Wellness department that needs a new director?

He also mentioned he may bring back some councilors;

NO former councilors that like bees and flowers

Maybe that guy who uses steak bones as gavels and doesn’t like hats. He was good at passing bad ordinances.

Maybe the lady that made sure we are getting another packing plant in town, even though we aren’t now.

The current mayor also suggested that they move the city council meetings to Monk’s Ale House since it would be easier for council to get questions from directors answered.

No matter who may be running for the next mayor, it seems they will have a full and capable staff to guide them if elected.

This piece was satire.

Legislature proposes resolution to change the pronunciation of two towns

Resolutions and the state legislature have a long history of nothingness. But recently legislators from multiple districts have signed onto changing the correct pronunciation of two towns; Pierre and Wagner.

Unless you are a total dolt, you know the proper pronunciation of Pierre is pee-air while the proper pronunciation for Wagner is vahg-nuhr. Ironically, while there is a lot of bullcrap on the ground in Pierre I am not sure about all the pee in the air.

Pierre was founded by Pierre Chouteau Jr. a wealthy fur trader and I can almost guarantee no one called him ‘peer’. Wagner is founded by Walter Wagner who found the area so wonderful after a fishing trip he decided to create a town.

There were some opposing resolutions. One was to change the pronunciation of Sioux Falls to sigh-ox falls and another to change the name of Pierre to L.A.G (lactation, abortion and guns).

One legislator opposed to the resolution, who will remain nameless, said, “Pronouncing Pierre, pee-air just seems a little gay to me, and while we don’t accept a lot of gay in South Dakota we seem to be okay with a little gay? Seems like a slippery slope.”

We also traveled to Wagner to get some opinions from residents on the resolution. Carla Running Horse told us that at least they are not calling it Fagner. “But I guess it is far better then being called Crankton or Methchell.”

Bob Britches says, “I live in a small rural town in South Dakota, who cares how it is pronounced just as long as we don’t call it Shirley.”

Of course if these resolutions pass there is nothing legally binding to make people to pronounce the towns names correctly, and even if they do there is NO cost to taxpayers.

A resident in Pierre said this, “I’m no grammar teacher, but I am guessing whether you say peer or pee-air the spelling is the same. I think?”

*of course none of this is really happening . . . or is it?

Angel Factories

In Marc Maron’s lastest HBO special he suggests we change the name of abortion clinics to ANGEL FACTORIES to get Christians on board. After hearing the bit, I thought, ‘Don’t give the SD Legislature any more ideas!’

Trap Shoot

Former Sioux Falls Comedian Sean Jordan debuts on the James Corden Show

It’s been years since I have seen Sean, but I remember him from the early days and bouts at the Roller Dollz events. He has really honed his skills. He lives in LA now.

Aunt Lydia for Governor

Amendment C proponents new slogans

Robert tells us about future council appointments

My New Coloring Book!

Poops Text Gate is just the tip of the Iceberg

After bribing one of HenTaken’s campaign goons with a (fake) autographed picture of Reagan standing next to John Wayne I was given access to Poops future text messages to his followers. Here is a sampling;

‘Village on the River was my fault . . . just kidding.’

‘I was put on laundry duty tonight. Yes, Dutchmen can fold . . . Benjamins!’

‘I will fire another city director today. Big reveal tomorrow!’

‘I have a tramp stamp . . . BLESSED.’

‘Erica has been running the city the past 3 1/2 years. My bad.’

‘Marshall just told me the secret of his success. I forget.’

‘Good luck getting Werther’s candy at HyVee on Minnesota. SOLD OUT!’

‘I will be talking to a random minority group on Thursday. SELFIE MANIA!’

‘COVID is sooooo 2021!’

‘Pinball rocks! The Bonus Round room at StartUp Sioux Falls will pay the yearly rent.’

‘Pride Sioux Falls asked me again to read a proclamation. I feel a family camping trip coming on.’

This is just a sampling of the text messages supporters will receive over the next couple of weeks. Share yours!