Over the next month kids at area elementary schools will compete in ‘Booger Battle’. The inaugural event will judge students boogers on categories: size, color, shape, and smell.
A local superintendent said, “They do this all over the country, especially in Red States and the results have been varying.”
They expect the competition to generate an estimated $0 in economic impact.
Back in 2001, when George Carlin was at the Washington Pavilion, he claimed he saved all of his boogers in plastic sleeves, like the type baseball card enthusiasts use, then puts the sleeves in three-ring notebooks so he could marvel at them at times and show others….
He was here like just less than two weeks after 9/11, and it was the first time I heard a celebrity or comedian joke about 9/11, the federal government, terrorism, and Osama bin Laden. It was the one laughter during his appearance that was limited, shall we say 🙂
I have heard that the Christian elementary schools will not be participating in this, however, but instead will be working together to reenact the Crusades.
Will there be a distinction between the sexes, and if so, how will this impact the transgender kids’ ability to show off their newfound boogers? #NewsomeCanYouHelp?
I worked the Carlin show and got to meet him. Ward Ertz who used to own the Pomp was promoting shows and this was one of them. Right before Carlin arrived Ward asked me if I wanted to meet him. He pulled up in a rental Ford Taurus like a bat out of Hell (he was by himself) and backed into the loading dock. He jumps out in a rag tag outfit and old leather briefcase that looks like he bought in 1975. Ward introduces me and then asked Carlin, “Why did you back into that space?” And Carlin says, “After the jokes I tell tonight I might have to get out of here real f’ing fast.” I think he said F’ck at least 4-6 times when Ward was introducing me and others. In person he is like your perverted dirty uncle who hates Republicans.
The joke about the planes blowing up because of the farts from foreigners got ZERO laughs. I laughed.
I met a lot of celebrities when I worked there like Cosby, I even helped Carrot Top write a joke, and it killed (he asked me before the show to help him with the joke – I wrote the punchline). I’ll tell you in person.
But what Dianne Schurr did after her show in the dressing room hallway was probably one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. So this promoter I know, Jon, asked me after Dianne show if I wanted to say hi. First off, Dianne is f’ing amazing. She is white and blind, so people call her the female white Ray Charles (she sings jazz and plays piano). Dianne struggled with alcohol and she was sober for a few years before her show and gained a lot of weight (she talked about it in her show and her road to recovery and unfortunately she is now fat.) So after the show I couldn’t wait to meet her. Were in the back hallway and I’m standing with Jon and the main Security officer (he protected the performers in the Green Room and Dressing Room, BIG DUDE but an awesome people person) and Dianne’s husband is leading her down the hallway and she has this great southern voice and she says hi to us and then Jon proceeds to ask her if she wants a soda, and she is saying ‘Yes’ she rips the biggest fart I have ever heard, and it was long. Me and the Security officer just stand there not knowing what to do and Dianne says, “The pure mention of sodapop gets my gas guage a going.” I looked at the security guard and we both ran out the back door keeled over in laughter. We go back in and Jon says to us ‘Thanks.’ and we laughed even harder. I had a lot of good times there unfortunately the witch the great hall is named after didn’t like me and forced me out.