It is my understanding that the undead population is being discriminated against here in Sioux Falls. The MSM outlets are refusing to give voice to the FACT that there is an impending zombie invasion. For too long we have been under the foot of the MAN. This Saturday we should rise up, give a moan in support of undead rights and gather in retaliation. Let our stinking corpses fill the streets in protest of the oppression brought down upon us by the “air breathers”. We’ll have a rountable discussion about these issues and many more Saturday night around 11PM.
How does one make a zombie?
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This is a great question, and it deserves to be explored at length… over and over again. Everyone should know how to make a zombie. We aren’t going to require any voodoo ingredients. Instead, we’ll need to take a trip to your local liquor store. I’m not usually one for umbrella drinks, but put a few of these in me and I start to stumble around and moan at people.
1 oz Apricot Brandy
1 oz light or Puerto Rican rum
1 oz dark or Jamaican rum
1 oz lemon juice
1 oz lime juice
dashes grenadine
orange juice
1 oz 151
In a cocktail shaker, mix light & dark rums and brandy. Add lemon and lime juice and dashes grenadine. Shake well and strain into a higball glass filled with ice. Fill glass with orange juice leaving room to float 1 oz of 151. Garnish with cherry, orange slice, pinapple wedge.
Hello everyone. How are you?
My family and I (except for Aunt Bertha who is currently involved in an Alaskan snow-machine contest running shotgun w/taser for GOP V.P.’s hubby, Hotty Toddy Paladin) set out to paint the town red last night expecting to see the Walt Disney “WallBanger-E” late movie movie at the West Mall cinema (with its comfy, creatively angulated seats).Who would of thunk that instead, they showed us a thought-provoking drama (Factual) of heroic white Republicans who made the right decisions throughout the movie and one black Obumma look-a-like who made the wrong decisions throughout the movie. It also featured white women who were strong, coherent, and articulated. They voiced their opinions, gave meaningful advice, and stayed calm throughout the movie – even though the evil Zombies (Joe Biting-like Democrats) were terrorizing them. Thank Goodness the movie’s left-winger media was ignored, and the white military (Republican) eventually once again won the day – saving their fellow Republicans and a few weak, vulnerable bleeding-heart Democrats (literally) as the dangerous dead Democrats took bites out of whiney Democrats while the strong, gun-toting, Pro-life Republicans put a hole in their brains. Sound familiar? The McCane/Paladin ticket also emphasizes these things: (see public domain photos below of the “Night of the Living Dangerously Dead Democrats”). Of course, Uncle Rusty and Gramps Gumps just ate popcorn, laughed, and rooted for the Zombies to win – the liberal Zombie-lovers!
Dangerously Dead Democrats illegally protesting at what appears to be the GOP convention…
Same old, same old: Dead Democrats trying to feast on brains of wholesome Republicans…
Nancy Pullosi-type zombie leads the Democrat Zombie charge…
Corrupt Democrat youth eats what resembles an innocent GOP Presidential candidate…
GOP V.P. candidate Sarah Paladin’s doppleganger takes aim at the brain of what looks like her Zombie former brother-in-law…
Sincerly,
EggBert Tiber. Frank. Ichab. Goof.
First off, I’d like to emphasize the importance of this year’s elections. Now more than ever we need to remind EVERYONE we know to vote, or we might end up with this in the White House. Seriously, this isn’t as far off as it seems.
Second, it was brought to my attention that USA TODAYwas running a piece about Zombie Tag. I wondered how it was that I hadn’t heard of it yet.. and then it occurred to me that I’m not a coed with entire days of my life to waste on college campuses. I’ll admit that it does sound like tons of fun, and if a game popped up in SooFoo I’d be there.
Thirdly, come out this weekend and watch George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” on the big screen at West Mall 7 at 9PM this Saturday the 11th and October 18th @ 9PM. All proceeds will benefit the Sioux Falls State Theater.
Undeadly Yours,
Zed
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