Author Archives: Eggbert

Dear fellow bloggers:

JUST LET MY MAN, MIKEY LIKES IT LEEEEAD this city, you liberal Democrat Hippy F-*&$%$^-ers!!!

I would like to personally state that while I don’t know My Man Mikey at all, I like it and think you all should vote for him on Tuesday because from what I have read in the Argyle Leader, watched on Sioux Storm Center TV, and seen on many nicely taken care of/well-watered lawns in town – there is no other choice other than electing this reputable man of REPUBLICAN VALUES, high moral standards of conduct, nice-looking eyes, well-groomed style in finely-made suits, and an absolute Million-Dollar “glint”-ridden smile (much like the “glint” reflecting off of my First Premier Credit Card when I hold it up to the light).  He vows that the Events Center (like the ones they have in Alaska – where the leader of the free world in 2012, President Sarah Palladin,

is from) will be built in the next 4 years, and that is good enough for me and my family who are always in attendance at the fine arena events. However, we NEED A BIGGER ARENA for flea markets

farm toy shows,

and gun shows…

 If “OUR” Man Mike can get this done, then by all means - 

JUST LET OUR MAN, MIKEY LIKES IT LEEEEAD this city, you liberal Democrat Hippy F-*&$%$^-ers!!!

By the way, Kermit Fragger-Rock is just a lazy, dumb, nerdy liberal weed-smokin’ hippy frog who wants to legalize the potty M.J. Joint…

Sincerely,

EggBert & Family of Christian Mother F-$#*&&^%(#-ers!!!

Good day!

Re: news articles about SD Men’s continued weiner health (anti-female baby-making related parts), upheld high taxes on gourmet hot dogs preventing “poor & hungry deadbeats” from taking up a wealthier SD customer’s seat at the Senior Wee Wee Restaurant, protected police puppy penises, and more spiritually inspirational prophetic wisdom from the All-Mighty Lord & Savior’s favorite Dick!

SD House kills contraceptive coverage bill

http://beta.argusleader.com/article/20100223/UPDATES/100223055

SD House kills food tax bill

http://beta.argusleader.com/article/20100223/UPDATES/100223050

SD House passes bill to protect police dogs

http://beta.argusleader.com/article/20100223/UPDATES/100223007/-1/updates

Cheney at CPAC: Obama ‘One-Term’ President

http://newsmax.com/InsideCover/cheney-cpac-obama-2012/2010/02/18/id/350265

Today was a good day to be an EggBert Family POW (Power Of Weiner) Man & for the registered Republican men in the Senior Wee-Wee state of SD. 

POW, SPROING, BOINK, WHACK…

Sincerely,

EggBert & Men of the family (even Granny Gumption agrees with the POW Factor – she knows her place in this world, and she also knows the power of Gramps Grumps’s boiled, fried, grilled, and yes, even his frozen, shriveled, limp, and/or leaky weiner!)

A Hardy Howdy Anti-Homo Boy Scout Hello Handsnake Salute to ya all:

Re: this very PRO-HOMO fundge packer-backer blogger’s Queer & Crooked plea for a more GAY-er Boy Scout Program  (ICKY-POOH!)

( http://cookross.typepad.com/cook_ross_blog/2010/02/boyscouts.html )

ALERT: DO NOT ALLOW THEM IN OUR TENTS AND DO NOT LET THE U.S. BOY SCOUTS BECOME LESS MORALLY STRAIGHT THAN THEY ALREADY ARE BY ALLOWING GAY-BAIT BOY SCOUTS THAT ARE QUEERS & FAGGOTS!  Well, at least most EggBert Family members (hard to tell about Nathan Jane, she-nephew) were raised equally Morally Straight AND non-Queerly Crooked while in the Boy Scout program. The Proof is in the Scout Oath Puddin’ – Below are EggBert Family photos of past Non-GAY Cub Scout, WeeWeeBelows, Boy Scout 1) knot-kinking & rope-escape merit badge assignments, 2) PineWoody weenie roast derbies, 3) greased-up patrol leader & wet-uniform contests, and 4) hot & sweaty-steamy Summer overnight campfire adventures, etc.  SEE EGGBERT FAMILY (MORALLY STRAIGHT) BOY SCOUT PHOTOS BELOW:

Scout Oath (or Promise)

On my honor I will do my best

To do my duty to God and my country

and to obey the Scout Law;

To help other people at all times;

To keep myself physically strong,

mentally awake, and morally straight.

Sincerely,

EggBert & family (and a cast of millions up on millions of Morally Straight Boy Scouts across America and below the collapsed Senior WeeWee Restaurants where we all live in non-Queerly Crooked weenie happiness…)

Hi there:  Happy Valentine’s Day, baby-makin’ machines!

Now that our local & national political leaders are seriously & truly GOIN’ PRO-LIFE this year, the EggBert Family (still holed up happily underneath the ground below Senior Wee Wee’s Restaurant as the weenie juice flows mingles nicely with the city’s decaying sewer system) is HOT Doggone excited for the future of PRO-LIFE mankind & their weenie production…

PRO-LIFE, first and foreskin-most, serves the grand purpose of the continuance & sustainability of MAN’s weiner (only pretty much needing the women’s baby-making orifices & monthly and bloody “MEN-STRONG” period to help things along, – period.)

In honor of Valentine’s Day 2010, we (the EggBert family, our Lord Jesus & his pretty cool dad, along with employees & patrons of Senior Wee Wee’s, a lovely place where you can purchase juicy, orgasmy weenies & such that are all fried, boiled, grilled, broiled, spammed, microwaved, toasted, baked, scrambled, quiched, pureed, injected, stroked, frozen, splayed, shiskabobed, weaved, licked, knitted, poked, sucked, touched, sauteed, head-butted, sprinkled, squeezed, vibrated, etc.) have spent the past many weeks down here debatin’ ABORTION issues (Pro-Lifers vs. Anti-Americans, who ironically should’ve been aborted years ago – WTF!!!) and we have come up with a new definition of PRO-LIFE for our city, state, and national leaders:  

PRO-LIFE is God’s Commandment to go forth and multiply the weiners of the world; it means procreation; makin’ whoopie HOT Doggie style; gettin’ funky with the monkey, having the interaction of MAN’s weenie conjunktified with the female’s baby-making parts, which include, but is not limited to, the women’s deliciously intoxicating watermelons & hairy, stinky yet yummy lower-extremities covered by the hot & steamy brassiere & panty –  with the sole purpose of creating GREAT multiples of babies with weenie sparm-juice & ovum-oven orifices!!!

IF one does NOT follow this PRO-LIFE platform, or if they engage INCORRECTLY with any type of independent & defiant freedom of choice of conception (especially by the female) in the act of sexual deviations in wasting weiner juice or ovum-oven crumbs by 1) using birth control to suffocate or spill sparm, 2) masturbating via mechanical device or phsical grab-hold, or 3) polluting the ovum-oven with meaningless abortion-type material that only serves under-the-table scraps to the Hound in Hell, then you can just go STICK IT, you atheistesticularly anti-LIFE frankfurter-hating, abortionistic liberal freaks!!!

Sincerely,

EggBert (who also thinks all hand- lotions, paper napkins, and clothes-hangers should be outlawed)

Well, Howdy Hi-Hi, fellow hot bloggers:

The EggBert Family has been through quite the adventurous ordeal since last we encountered each other’s yummy-yum weenie-eating ways wayyyyy back on the Lord’s Day, Dec. 6th, 2009.

If ya all remember, after having had our beloved Republican SAVIOR, Sarah Palladin, sign her new “Gone Ragged” book for us at Barn’s & NoBalls in Sioux Falls, we high-tailed it over to our local Senior WeeWee Weiner Restaurant ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJ7CVSTIgTo ) to sign Palladin’s daughter’s lover Levi’s weiner. 

Well, as you can imagine, since God does indeed work in mysterious Senior WeeWee Weiner ways, things there turned out in our Weiner Winner Flavorable Way!!!  As the entire EggBert family waited in the mile-long line full of mostly hungry & drooling SD GOOP (Grand Old Omniscient Party) Levi-Weiner-Lovers, we figured as much that we oughta prove our EggBert manhood & womenhood by making our best EggBert family attempt to conquest The Great Senior WeeWee Weiner Upchuck Challenge ( http://senorwiener.com/ ), thus, rightly earning yet another EggBert family legacy by having succeeded in becoming the first family of Winning Weeny-Eaters to be mounted on The Senior WeeWee Weiner Wall of Frankfarting Fame.

 Alas, as we chowed down on the many delightful, delicious, & wonderful Senior WeeWee Weiner’s weenies while waiting – the whole freakin’ house of franks collapsed (presumably under the massive weight of Senior WeeWee Weiners’ many fried, boiled, & grilled weenies along with the throngs of Levi-Loving weenies in line to sign Levi’s GOOPY – Grand Old Omniscient Party’s Yummer – weenie) into a Greasy Pit of Weeny Wonder…all of which the liberal-leanin’ local media failed to report (the bastardly hippies). Thank God we survived the past 2 months of underground weeny wonder because we had plenty of weiner to munch, cold & firm waffle fries to enjoy in various doggie-style positions to bide the time, Levi’s abstinence-first love-making tips, & a wireless laptop so we could all pleasure ourselves for days on-end (or “end-on-and-in-end,” as neighbor, Creamy Nugent, likes to put it or have it put) playing the meaningful internet game of “Help our beloved former President George Bush with his employment now that he was ILLEGALLY booted out of our White House by a Black O’BUMMER Liberal weenie Loser”  http://www.gamesheep.com/game/hot-dog-bush/?act=PlayNow

TODAY, February 2nd, 2010 – GROUND HOG DAY – (THOUGH WE HAVE NOW OFFICIALY RENAMED it GROUND HOT HOG DOG DAY) – all of us – 1) the entire EggBert family, 2) the illustrious & highly-educated Senior WeeWee Weiner staff, & 3) the entire Levi’s Weiner-Loving GOOPers - AND our long-lost relative, Frankfurterfarter Harry Dickie Willie John Thomas Goofenstein, the Fourth (our Step-Half-Cousin Twice-Removed) 

who, coincidentally, we discovered in the bottom of the weeny pit – POPPED up our heads on this cold, wintery day, saw O’BUMMER’s “DARK” shadow, & rightfully so decided to return to the safe confines of the sewers of Sioux Falls & the greasy weenie pit of Senior WeeWee’s Gorged Restaurant – where we all will remain: buried, boiled, fried, & grilled – for the next 3 years, or at least, until the GOOPY weiner, once again, RISES…

Sincerely,

EggBert & family, the entire Senior WeeWee Weiner Staff,  Levi’s weiner-loving SD GOOP fans, & most importantly, Levi & his weiner