Word of the Day; Governmentium

Governmentium

The heaviest chemical element yet known to science. Governmentium (Gv) has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium–an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

“Oh my God–Don’t touch that!! It’s Governmentium. My cousin Sal drank some mixed with Tang when he was a kid, and now he’s a lawyer.”

“Aiiighhhhh!!!!!”



5 comments ↓

#1 rufusx on 12.29.15 at 2:48 pm

The biggest societal change in the past 50 years has been the shifting of income and wealth from the middle class to the already wealthy – the neo feudalists – the corporatists. The greatest protector of the middle class against the tyranny of the corporatists (neo-feudalists) has been the one entity bigger and stronger than any of them – the government.

There has been a decades long campaign funded by neo-feudalist $$$ poured over the congress (one small part-time piece of the government – but one that has great power WITHIN that governmental structure to alter it) aided by neo-feudalist media to weaken the only natural defense the middle class has – government. The primary tactic of the neo-feudalists toward accomplishing that goal has been using media/propaganda branch of the campaign to make people hate the government. To convince people that government is lazy, overpaid, ineffective, not interested in their welfare and so on. (Note – no moral comparison is EVER made between governmental and corporatist/neo-feudalist on these issues).

Beginning in the 1980’s there was also an effort by pro-neo-feudalists, once they gained enough of a foot hold in government, to put in places of authority within government – people like themselves – dedicated to weakening the government who, loyal to their neo-feudal masters, failed miserably at performing governmental duties. They became self-fulfilling Prophets (Reagan) of government incapability.

So – go ahead and hate your government – your corporate masters will be proud.

#2 teatime on 12.29.15 at 7:03 pm

Clever.

#3 teatime on 12.29.15 at 7:24 pm

And sad.

#4 The D@ily Spin on 12.30.15 at 8:16 am

A sad but true satire. When combined with a politicians Uranus, there’s confission and a Notclear action.

#5 The D@ily Spin on 12.31.15 at 3:51 pm

All negative. Still, I’m proud of this city but wish citizens would go to the polls to install a progressive city government and remove the corruption. The first step is to eliminate unconstitutional Home Rule Charter. It’s been tested and proven to be oligarchy if not an absolute dictatorship. Everything wrong is a result of strong mayor abuse of power. At the end of his term there will be half a billion in debt with nothing but sports complexes to show for it. There’s a homeless problem, prevalent empty retail space, and major civil rights offenses. He’s the mayor with all the power but also all the blame.