Why is the mayor’s wife asking for CVB marketing money to promote her new cookbook?
l3wis 
The mayor’s wife, Sandy Chuether is pretty excited, I mean you would be to if the city fronted you a cool half-mil to write a cook book about all things “Soo Foo” or as Sandy says, “Soo Food!” Whether it’s Stormland TV‘s anchorman Jorgi’s famous lamb chislic recipe from the Turner County Fair or AL‘s Horney Meyer’s 6 patty cheeseburger from ‘5 Peeps Burgers’ (do you get the irony? 5 guys? 6 patties?) or her personal favorite, the Tennis Ball Meatball, “You know, it’s like, literally the size of a Tennis Ball!”
Well Sandy ain’t happy, and when Sandy ain’t happy, daddy sleeps on the couch. It seems Sandy wants more money from the CVB to promote her cookbook. In a telepathic message obtained by SouthDacola (no Dolphins were injured in the procedure) Sandy asked the city attorney if it was ok to use CVB marketing money to promote her fundraising for the new cookbook,
“BEEP< BEEP<BEEP<BROTTLE<SNAP<CLINK, ‘Darwin Faddle, are you there? Wondering if you would like to discuss with me using CVB money for promoting my cookbook? There is a Lemon bar in it for you! SNART<CLART<CLING<WALLOOP”
Being the Dolphin safe tuna eater that he is, Darwin responded, “Hard question, I will job that one out to the local Walmart attorneys, uh, I mean, our attorneys.” Which is still under consideration.
Which brings us to why she did this cookbook, “Well, you know, I don’t really do much these days except go to a lot of real estate closings (ever since my husband transferred all of his investments into my name) so I decided to steal . . . um . . . I mean, compile a bunch of friend’s recipes.”
“And you know, the tennis ball meatball is a fantastic recipe, it’s great comfort food for someone recovering from running into a fence pole after chasing a clearly out of bounds ball.” She laughs, “You know, I told him (the mayor) he should be playing pickleball at his age anyway.”
The controversy comes from Sandy asking the CVB to help fund the marketing of the cookbook (even though she already received $500K ‘seed’ money for the book from the city and asking for $1.5 million in donations to finish the project.
When we asked Sandy about the marketing money, she was quite candid, “Kinda ironic, isn’t it? Our local media ‘investigating’ me about asking for a couple grand to promote my cookbook, but they didn’t say a peep about the mayor’s wife asking for $500,000 publishing seed money, and the council approving it? Heck, they even invited me on their live programs to talk about it (of course without mentioning I was the mayor’s wife).”
“While I think it is awesome you are doing your due diligence on this matter, you must realize most people don’t care, so go back to writing about bicycles, vandalized gardens, or whatever you do.”
So we asked Sandy to explain to us, what she planned to do with the cookbook, once finished. “Give it to disadvantaged young tennis players, of course. Because as my husband says to me, ‘Greed is the Day God has given to you. Suck it f’ing dry!’ “
This is a parody of Ellis’ story today in the AL. It has always bugged me that the AL didn’t cause a stink about the CLEAR conflict of interest that existed when this money was awarded.
