Mayor Almost Done

Huether plans to ‘RAMROD’ all the way to the end

l3wis February 2, 2018 8Comments

As I predicted there has been rumors that Huether plans to get even more done before he leaves office. On Belfrage’s show the other day he said he was meeting with directors to see what they would like to see tied up in their offices before the next mayor takes over on May 15. Rumor has it that there is well over 30 items on the RAMROD agenda so far. A City Hall insider gave me a brief list of some of those items;

• Proclaim that April 1^st each year in Sioux Falls will be called ‘Interesting Siding’ day. Homeowners will be encouraged to post pictures on the city’s FB page of their ‘interesting siding’ installations. Participants are asked that they paid the contractor double for the job that excludes a warranty.
• Rename every park in Sioux Falls with a corporate sponsor that will be responsible for putting up two ugly signs in the park proudly showing who the sponsor is.
• Executive order telling city councilors Starr and Stehly to sit out all city council meetings until after May 15. Huether comments, “We don’t need their votes anyway to get things done.”
• Flagpole annex the private lake Huether’s second home sits on. After annexation Huether asks to make the lake and surrounding property a city park and gets $500,000 from taxpayers to rename it Huether Family Park.
• Emergency closure of the Arena for the next three months for city hall document shredding.
• Huether offers ALL city employees a 20% discount coupon for his future book, “If you can’t stand the Hueth get out of the Kitchen”. For employees who still can’t afford the book after the release there will be financing available at a 79% interest rate.
• Replaces Project KEEP and NICE with Project LEGACY which will allow citizens to dump asbestos FREE for one week at the land fill.
• Fires the entire police department and replaces them with a newly deputized Tuthill Ghost. Huether comments, “Because the hype around the crime increase in Sioux Falls is really just a myth.” The money saved from this action will be contributed to the Aaron Hultgren defense fund.
• Budgets $10,000 for decorating his future office when he gets hired by the next mayor.
• Removes West Law software from the city attorney’s computers and replaces it with solitaire. The cost saving measure actually makes the office more productive.
• Shuts down Para transit and Public transit. Replaces bus passes with a business card from Billion Automotive.
• Submits a city ordinance that makes it a felony to remove any of his stupid quotes from the walls of city owned buildings.
• Installs tissue dispensers on all city owned podiums.
• Tells the public for the 685^th time his dad was an alcoholic.
• Gets his final haircut at a barbershop and finally has his ducktail cut off.
• Leaves a word of advice for the future mayor, “Buy a comfortable couch. You are going to be spending a lot of nights there.”
• Kisses his wife in public without her acting uncomfortable or grimacing.
• Asks councilor Rex Rolfing to wear a hat at his last council meeting and to muster up at least one good idea that will benefit the city.
• Finally admits that he signed off on the installation of the Event Center siding but comments, “It was Mark Cotter’s idea.”

There you have it folks, 3 more months of ‘Getting Things Done!’