Resolutions and the state legislature have a long history of nothingness. But recently legislators from multiple districts have signed onto changing the correct pronunciation of two towns; Pierre and Wagner.

Unless you are a total dolt, you know the proper pronunciation of Pierre is pee-air while the proper pronunciation for Wagner is vahg-nuhr. Ironically, while there is a lot of bullcrap on the ground in Pierre I am not sure about all the pee in the air.

Pierre was founded by Pierre Chouteau Jr. a wealthy fur trader and I can almost guarantee no one called him ‘peer’. Wagner is founded by Walter Wagner who found the area so wonderful after a fishing trip he decided to create a town.

There were some opposing resolutions. One was to change the pronunciation of Sioux Falls to sigh-ox falls and another to change the name of Pierre to L.A.G (lactation, abortion and guns).

One legislator opposed to the resolution, who will remain nameless, said, “Pronouncing Pierre, pee-air just seems a little gay to me, and while we don’t accept a lot of gay in South Dakota we seem to be okay with a little gay? Seems like a slippery slope.”

We also traveled to Wagner to get some opinions from residents on the resolution. Carla Running Horse told us that at least they are not calling it Fagner. “But I guess it is far better then being called Crankton or Methchell.”

Bob Britches says, “I live in a small rural town in South Dakota, who cares how it is pronounced just as long as we don’t call it Shirley.”

Of course if these resolutions pass there is nothing legally binding to make people to pronounce the towns names correctly, and even if they do there is NO cost to taxpayers.

A resident in Pierre said this, “I’m no grammar teacher, but I am guessing whether you say peer or pee-air the spelling is the same. I think?”

*of course none of this is really happening . . . or is it?

In Marc Maron’s lastest HBO special he suggests we change the name of abortion clinics to ANGEL FACTORIES to get Christians on board. After hearing the bit, I thought, ‘Don’t give the SD Legislature any more ideas!’